The Notion of ‘Middle Child Syndrome’ Is Nonsense

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When my partner and I shared the news of our impending arrival of our third child, we half-expected the usual questions like, “Was this planned?”—after all, we’re practically ancient in the baby-making game. However, we were taken aback by the flood of comments regarding our soon-to-be middle child and the supposed challenges that lay ahead for him. One relative even lamented, “Oh no, poor kid! I hope he gets the attention he deserves.”

Excuse me? Let’s set the record straight: the idea of “Middle Child Syndrome” is total nonsense. A comprehensive study from 2015, conducted by researchers at the University of Leipzig and Johannes Gutenberg University of Mainz, analyzed over 20,000 adults thought to have this so-called syndrome and concluded that personality development is influenced far less by family birth order than previously assumed. In short, they declared middle child syndrome as mere pop culture myth.

So how did this pseudoscience gain traction, especially among parenting magazines and personality quizzes? Back in the late 19th century, Europe was buzzing with scientific advancements, including the birth of psychoanalysis led by Sigmund Freud, who had some rather dubious theories about femininity and maternal blame. His contemporary, Alfred Adler, introduced the idea that birth order shapes personality traits, and thus, the myth of Middle Child Syndrome was born. Despite the progress in psychological research, outdated ideas, largely rooted in the sexist views of Freud and Adler, continue to persist.

According to this questionable theory, firstborns are seen as natural leaders with attributes like reliability and problem-solving skills. Middle children, meanwhile, are painted as attention-seeking whiners, while the youngest child is depicted as a spoiled, self-centered manipulator. Numerous studies have debunked this shaky logic, yet the notion persists, akin to horoscopes and BuzzFeed quizzes, with people proclaiming, “Wow, that’s totally me!”

Rest assured, my middle child will thrive. In fact, he’ll benefit immensely from having an older brother who, contrary to Adler’s claims, is no fragile snowflake. In our home, respect and accountability are paramount. If someone feels overlooked, that would be news to me; I strive to give each child ample attention. We emphasize open communication to ensure our kids grow into well-rounded, respectful individuals.

Children need to feel seen, heard, and respected. By modeling healthy behaviors, we empower them to treat their siblings and peers with kindness and to understand self-respect as they grow. There’s no room for a misguided theory like middle child syndrome in our family; we value our children as unique individuals deserving of our time and love. So the next time someone makes a misguided comment about how our newest addition will affect my second-born, I’ll confidently correct them—my middle child will be cherished, thank you very much.

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In summary, the myth of Middle Child Syndrome is just that—a myth. With love, respect, and open communication, every child can thrive, regardless of their birth order.