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‘The Bachelor’ Premiere Recap: Red Dresses and a Camel Entrance
Nick Viall has returned as the latest Bachelor—a title he’s held more times than anyone else in the franchise, yet still hasn’t found love. But hey, maybe this time he’s on a quest for romance or just trying to hawk an Audi. Who knows?
The episode kicks off with a painfully relatable intro, as ABC attempts to convince viewers that Nick is not, in fact, a total jerk. Cue the montage of a grocery store employee gushing over him, followed by a heartfelt moment with his little sister. Nick boldly declares he wants to provide America with a “happy ending.” It’s hard not to feel a bit uneasy about that phrasing.
“Love is the greatest feeling,” he claims, but let’s be real: he’s kind of famous for falling in love with every contestant he encounters. Spoiler alert: this time, he won’t have to compete for their affections, which might just send him sprinting in the opposite direction.
This two-hour episode is definitely a marathon, so before meeting the women, we’re treated to guest appearances from former Bachelors like Ben Higgins, Chris Soules, and Sean Lowe. Sean just had a baby, and his cuteness is almost enough to make me doze off. Meanwhile, Chris is definitely not still with Whitney, and we all know it. Ben tries to dispense love advice, which feels a bit like the blind leading the blind. Remember, he told two women he loved them and dumped one the next day. Good times, right?
Nick muses, “I don’t ever think I’ll be discouraged enough to give up,” which is reassuring. I’m sure we’ll see him again on Bachelor in Paradise, knitting to cope with his heartbreak.
Introductions and Awkward Entrances
Finally, we get to the introductions—though not the ones we’re waiting for. Instead, we get mini-documentaries on each woman. There’s a lawyer, a nail salon owner, a teacher, a cat lady, and a woman who rides ATVs while reading the Bible, among others. The lineup is a mixed bag of quirky personalities and questionable life choices.
As the women arrive, it quickly becomes apparent that many are far too young for Nick, who is 36. The cringe-worthy entrances don’t disappoint. One shows up in a bright yellow dress and dances with a matching fan. Another bluntly tells him her friends think he’s a “complete piece of trash.” One brings Neil Lane, the diamond guy, to show off her desired wedding ring, while another arrives with a trust fall routine. And then, there’s the one-night stand who he doesn’t even recognize—yikes.
After a commercial break (thank goodness), the second group of women arrives, bringing even more oddball antics. One woman shows up with maple syrup, another claims she has “balls” while pulling out a nose piercing, and one offers a “beard massage” (whatever that entails). The absurdity peaks when a contestant climbs off a camel and introduces herself with, “I hear you like a good hump.” Really? Where do these women come from?
First Impressions and Surprises
Nick’s about to meet the ladies, and one of the one-night stand’s claims she has an “advantage,” despite him being clueless. The women all stand up and scream upon his entrance—typical. He tries to inspire them with a speech about feeling empowered, but it’s obvious he’s struggling to get the words out.
Small talk ensues, and Rachel, the lawyer, shines bright compared to the others. The dancing yellow dress girl is annoying, and Corrine, the self-proclaimed daddy’s girl, brings a bag of “tokens” to woo Nick. It’s as cringey as it sounds. Nick’s trying to play the role of the seasoned bachelor, but the atmosphere quickly turns tense as the women compete for his attention.
Dolphin-obsessed Alexis continues her delusion, thinking she’s in a dolphin costume instead of a shark. Classic. Nick finally gets time with Liz, the one-night stand, and it’s painfully awkward when he remembers their past encounter.
When it’s time for the first impression rose, Rachel snagging it surprises everyone. The rest of the women, including Corrine, who’s hogging airtime, receive roses. In the end, Liz gets the last rose, leaving others feeling insecure. Honestly, they’re all beautiful and deserving of love—why do we put ourselves through this?
I can’t wait for next week, even if I hate myself for it (and for Corrine).
Further Reading
For more insights into home insemination and perhaps finding your happy ending, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy, or explore this post for more tips on the journey to motherhood.
Summary
Nick Viall returns as the Bachelor, bringing with him a mix of awkward introductions and quirky contestants. As the women compete for his attention, hilarity and cringe-worthy moments ensue, leaving viewers hooked for more.