Your cart is currently empty!
Stop Shaming the Big Kids Who Suck Their Thumbs
My son has spent roughly 3,642 nights snuggled up with his beloved blankie and has probably logged about 6,783 hours with his thumb in his mouth. You know the saying that goes, “Your child won’t get into college or find a partner while sucking their thumb or clinging to their blankie”? Well, my kid might just break that mold.
Like many parents, I had my share of worries about my almost 10-year-old’s thumb-sucking habit. He was definitely on the older side of what’s deemed “acceptable”—whatever that means. I fretted over the potential teasing from peers, the risk of dental issues, and whether I was failing as a parent by not being more proactive about his thumb-sucking and blankie habit.
But honestly? I worried, sure, but not enough to actually make him stop. He was a fantastic sleeper as long as he had his blankie and thumb, so why rock the boat?
Of course, not everyone shared my somewhat relaxed viewpoint. A couple of years ago, we visited an orthodontist because my son had lost a few teeth earlier than expected, and the dentist suggested a consultation. I informed the orthodontist about my thumb-sucking son, and I thought, why rush to take away these childhood comforts? What’s the rush for our children to grow up? Why would I want to disrupt our peaceful bedtime routine that worked for us?
But while my son was in the chair, the orthodontist decided to employ that classic tactic known as shame. He asked a series of questions about school and sports, then hit him with, “What would your friends say if they knew you sucked your thumb?”
I was furious, but my son handled it like a champ. “They wouldn’t say anything…because they’re my friends,” he replied. You go, kid!
Needless to say, we found a new orthodontist—one who didn’t resort to shaming and reminded me that my son would stop sucking his thumb when he felt ready. He assured me there was nothing to worry about.
Parents often fret about prolonged thumb-sucking and attachments to pacifiers or blankies, but experts advise us to chill out. The American Academy of Pediatrics emphasizes that thumb-sucking is a natural way for kids to find comfort. “A child will gradually give up both the transitional object and the sucking as he matures,” they explain. Most kids stop these habits before they hit school age, but if they don’t, pushing them to quit might do more harm than good. Trust that your child will eventually move past these habits on their own.
For nearly a decade, my son enjoyed his nightly “snugs” with his thumb and blankie, and we let him be, even while we sometimes felt anxious about it. Then, one day, he just stopped—just like that! He hasn’t sucked his thumb for months, and his blankie now sits crumpled at the bottom of my nightstand. Honestly, I’m a bit surprised (and a tad wistful) about that.
Was my son a bit old for his thumb-sucking phase? Maybe. Could we have taken his blankie away or pressured him to stop? Absolutely. But what would that have achieved? What would we have lost by pushing him to “grow up” faster? Most importantly, would we have shown him that other people’s opinions matter more than his own feelings?
Regardless of whether thumb-sucking or other comforting habits are labeled as bad, one thing is clear: shame is counterproductive. True friends accept our quirks as we accept theirs. Kids inherently understand this; it’s adults who often forget.
So, despite my initial fears, my son likely won’t head off to college with his thumb in his mouth, nor will he marry his blankie (unless it’s tucked away in a box of childhood keepsakes). Just as the experts say, kids evolve at their own pace.
And eventually, they grow up—whether we are ready for it or not.
For those navigating similar parenting challenges, you might also find helpful insights in our other blog posts, such as this one on home insemination. Additionally, if you’re seeking more information on at-home insemination kits, check out Make a Mom, an authority on the topic. For a wealth of resources on family-building options, Resolve is an excellent place to start.
Summary:
This article explores the often misunderstood habit of thumb-sucking among older children, emphasizing that shame is counterproductive and kids will naturally grow out of such habits when they are ready. The author shares personal experiences with her son’s thumb-sucking and highlights the importance of accepting children’s comforting behaviors without pressure.