So, you want to be my mom friend? That’s fantastic! As much as I’d love to grab your arm and skip off to the nearest Target, I’ve had my share of bumps in the road: drama, a kid clobbering mine with a rock, and friendships that turned into full-blown soap operas. So let’s cut to the chase and address some key points if we’re going to be mom pals. My time is precious—I’ve got laundry to tackle and little ones who seem to think it’s hilarious to strip down at the most inconvenient moments.
Do You Respect My Parenting Choices?
I practice attachment parenting, and I’m totally cool if you prefer formula feeding, crib sleeping, or letting your little one cry it out. We’ve both done our research and made our choices. Even if I think your method is misguided, I expect mutual respect—no backhanded comments like, “Oh, how did letting your kid cry work out for you?” That’s just passive-aggressive nonsense, and I’m not here for it.
Are Our Kids Around the Same Age and Not Miniature Versions of Chuckie?
It’s a lot easier to become mom friends when our kids can vibe together. This way, we can sip our much-needed coffee while they wreak havoc in the corners we’re ignoring. It’s essential that they get along—bullying behavior is a deal-breaker.
Do You Acknowledge That Toddlers Can Be Little Savages?
Let’s face it, small children are like tiny tornadoes without empathy. If you can’t handle the occasional hit or scratch, we might not be a good fit. You’ll need to find some humor in the chaos and roll with the punches. If you freak out when your child gets bitten, you might want to reevaluate your expectations.
Are You Drama-Free?
I’m talking no gossip, no backbiting, and no secret groups just to complain about others. This kind of negativity drains everyone involved. If you thrive on mama-drama, I have no space for that in my life. Take the drama elsewhere.
Are You Easily Grossed Out?
Parents need to discuss everything from snot (yes, even the beloved Nosefrida) to postpartum realities without batting an eye. If you can’t handle conversations about poop, labor, or the joys of breastfeeding, we might not mesh. It’s going to get messy, especially when the topic of postpartum intimacy comes up.
Do You Hold Strong Political Opinions?
I hope your views align with mine, but even if they don’t, that’s fine as long as you can articulate your stance. I once had a friend who was a young-Earth creationist, so I’m open to discussion as long as it’s respectful. It’s good to be informed about current events—let’s keep it lively with some political banter.
Can We Chat About More Than Just Baby Talk?
Yes, we need to discuss diaper disasters, but we also need to touch on adult topics like current events, hair dye, or the latest thrift store finds. I require a solid balance—50% baby talk, 50% grown-up conversation.
Are You Up for a Trip to Target?
Of course you are!
Things That Don’t Matter to Me (and Shouldn’t to You Either):
- Whether or not your laundry is done
- The state of your home, unless it’s overrun with bugs
- If you allow your child to cry it out
- The purpose of your breasts (recreation or practicality)
- Your age
- Whether you’re a stay-at-home or working parent, as long as you’re down for a Target run
- Your relationship orientation—love is love!
If you’ve passed my little interview, congrats! Let’s head to Starbucks and put this friendship to the test. And if you’re interested in more topics about home insemination, feel free to check out this informative blog post. For those considering at-home methods, Cryobaby is a great resource. Also, IVF Babble offers excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, forging friendships with fellow moms requires a solid foundation of mutual respect, shared parenting philosophies, and a willingness to communicate openly about both the messy and mundane aspects of life. If you’re ready for honest conversations and a fun partnership, let’s connect!