God’s Facebook Ban: A Divine Comedy

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After a brief hiatus, God has made his triumphant return to Facebook, reminding us all of who wields the ultimate power in the digital realm. The divine account, boasting over three million followers, was temporarily banned after posting a cheeky message directed at Americans: “Dear Americans, Stop making your military so damn huge and give people medicine and education because you’re sick and stupid. Thanks, God.” Two days later, the heavenly figure found himself in a 30-day timeout.

Known for its witty and progressive content, God’s page often pokes fun at the contradictions in various American policies, particularly those that clash with the principles of compassion and justice. It’s no stranger to backlash, especially from those who seem to think faith should come with a side of humorlessness, along with policies that limit women’s health rights and universal healthcare.

However, God was taken aback by the ban. “I posted this opinion on the day it was announced that Obamacare will be defunded and 24 million people will lose their healthcare,” he explained in an article on Good. “The post went viral, racking up over 100,000 likes and 15,000 shares, but a few hundred people decided to report it as offensive rather than just scroll past.”

Not one to take a social media smackdown lying down, God called for reinforcements from Jesus and Moses. The following day, the ban was lifted, proving that it’s not wise to cross the Almighty.

“Today I was notified by FB that My Account has been restored! THANK YOU, HUMANS! I am sure that the huge response from you yesterday was the difference in achieving this so quickly,” God jubilantly announced. “YOU. YOU ARE AWESOME.” Talk about a forgiving deity—just don’t send him to Facebook jail again!

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In summary, God’s brief ban from Facebook was a reminder of the power of social media and public opinion. His swift return was a testament to the unwavering support from his followers who rallied against the ban.