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My Child Is in the Know-It-All Phase—Help Me!
If you could see my face right now, you’d probably notice my left eye twitching like it’s auditioning for a horror film. You might also spot a gray hair sprouting from my right eyebrow. Why? Because I’m in the thick of a parenting nightmare, dealing with a child who has transformed into the ultimate know-it-all, and it’s driving me bananas.
As kids grow, they navigate various developmental stages that ideally prep them for adulthood. The first year is all about walking, the second is filled with chatter, and the third revolves around potty training. But at my house, the seventh year has dumped us into the tedious know-it-all phase, where my child believes it’s perfectly acceptable to correct everyone around him while assuming he’s the resident expert. Spoiler alert: he’s not.
How Did We Reach This Point?
Is it my fault? My partner and I have always encouraged our kids but never in a way that fosters mini-divas. We expect basic manners and kindness, and when those go missing, consequences follow. So what’s with this irritating phase that feels like my child is channeling a little arrogant brat?
Here’s the deal: the know-it-all phase is just that—a phase. As kids enter their early school years, they’re bombarded with new knowledge that expands their little brains, and they’re thrilled to share what they’ve learned. So when my 7-year-old tells me that a peregrine falcon can dive at a whopping 200 miles per hour (in case you’re curious), and I engage him in an excited discussion, it’s no shocker that he feels compelled to share every tidbit of knowledge he picks up.
But when “Did you know, Mom?” morphs into “You’re wrong; it’s this,” we’ve got an issue. Sometimes this behavior springs from insecurity. According to an interview in Parents magazine, child development expert Lisa Thompson explains that at this age, kids are beginning to grasp more about the world around them and take pride in their newfound skills. Naturally, they want to showcase what they know and bask in positive feedback. However, the desire to feel superior can lead to the emergence of the know-it-all attitude.
The Sibling Rivalry
Lately, this phase has taken form in my 7-year-old constantly correcting his younger brother on everything. I’ve lost count of the arguments that start with “Yes, it is!” and “No, it isn’t!” At first, we thought it was typical sibling rivalry, but soon it became clear that the disputes were initiated by my eldest insisting that his brother is simply incorrect. This cycle leads to tears, frustration, and a cacophony of whining that fills our home.
We’ve tried a variety of approaches: reasoning with him about how being smart doesn’t necessitate pointing out others’ mistakes, lecturing about social etiquette, and threatening to confiscate his tablet (the ultimate punishment). Yet, none of these strategies have made a dent. He’s still lecturing and still making his brother feel bad.
Essential Truths
Ultimately, we realized two essential truths. First, the urge to be an expert is a totally normal stage in his development. Second, no matter how much we intervene, a bit of sibling rivalry is inevitable. Our kids will navigate this on their own, and our role is to ensure they do it in a safe and respectful manner—even if one of them always seems to “know” better.
We’re aware that a day will come when Mr. Know-It-All faces his own reality check from another kid just like him. That’s a lesson we can’t teach, so for now, we’ll manage until that moment arrives.
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Summary
Navigating the know-it-all phase of childhood can be challenging for parents. Understanding that this is a natural development stage helps manage expectations. By fostering a respectful environment, parents can guide their children through this phase while allowing them to learn valuable lessons about sharing knowledge and humility.