As a parent, it’s hard not to glance over at the neighbors and wish you could provide more for your kids. Our family has always had enough, but we lead a modest life compared to others around us. We rent a cozy 1,000-square-foot duplex with a living room/dining area, a family room, and two petite bedrooms. It’s just right for our family of four, but it does mean our two boys have to bunk together.
When we first settled in, our youngest was still a baby and slept with us, so having separate rooms wasn’t an issue. I let my older son claim the second bedroom, thinking I’d find a way to convert the family room into a third bedroom down the line. I actually put off making any real plans for them to share a space for a few years (our little one co-slept with us forever). To be honest, I was a bit anxious about them sharing a room.
I felt guilty that they didn’t each have their own sanctuary like so many of my friends’ kids did. I worried about the chaos when my eldest hit puberty—would he need his own space? Would sibling squabbles erupt like wildfire? Would they end up resenting each other for life? I wondered if they’d compare their lives to their peers and feel embarrassed about our smaller home.
But as I heard these worries rolling around in my head, I realized they were just that—worries. It was time to stop stressing and dive in. So, a few months ago, I told my older son that his little brother was moving in with him. There was some grumbling, but honestly, not as much as I anticipated. I pitched it as creating a “Brothers Hangout”—a fun space just for them. He had some requests: bean bag chairs, a lava lamp, and a TV for video games. We rearranged some furniture, and it was exciting to watch their enthusiasm grow as they made the room their own.
Of course, it hasn’t all been smooth sailing. With two kids sharing a space, clutter can pile up quickly, and there’s no room for excess kid stuff. So we cleaned out the closets, sorted through the toy bins, and cleared the floors to ensure both boys had space for their clothes and favorite treasures without feeling cramped.
Now, a few months in, I can honestly say I have no idea why I hesitated in the first place. This setup is the best thing ever!
Sure, it’s not perfect. There’s been some whining and bickering (though no more than before), but the benefits far outweigh any minor headaches. For anyone considering having their kids share a room—whether out of necessity or simply to bond—I can wholeheartedly recommend it.
Here’s why:
Bonding
Brotherly bonding can sometimes resemble an epic wrestling match, but it’s bonding nonetheless. Being so close forces them to connect, no matter how it plays out.
Creating Memories
My fondest childhood memories aren’t all picture-perfect family moments; they’re the simple times spent together, just living life. Now that my boys share a room, they have countless opportunities to create those cherished everyday moments.
Conflict Resolution
I initially hesitated about them sharing a room because I didn’t want them to face conflicts. But it turns out that learning to navigate those disagreements is a vital life skill. Yes, someone will inevitably grab the other’s stuff or be annoying, and sometimes they’ll just need a moment alone. My kids aren’t experts yet, but they’re getting plenty of practice in establishing boundaries and advocating for themselves.
Decluttering Skills
Living in a small space means they have to be choosy about what they keep. I do my share of sneaking in and tossing out toys, but they’re learning to let go of items they no longer need. Plus, I’m giving them no choice but to put their socks in the laundry basket and clear those Legos off the floor!
Understanding a Humble Lifestyle
My kids are realizing that while they may not have as much space as some of their friends, they’re fortunate compared to others who have much less. This past Christmas, I explained to my youngest that not all kids receive gifts. He was shocked! That revelation inspired him to declutter his closet and donate toys to children in need.
So if you’re on the fence about having your kids share a room, just go for it. The advantages significantly outweigh any potential downsides. Even the challenges teach your kids about compromise, resilience, conflict resolution—and above all, that living closely with those you love can be a beautiful experience.
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Summary
In summary, having your kids share a room can bring numerous benefits, from strengthening sibling bonds to teaching valuable life skills. While there may be challenges, the positives often outweigh the negatives, making it a worthwhile choice for many families.