It doesn’t take long after welcoming your little one into the world before you find yourself venting about them. It’s a mix of seeking solidarity from fellow parents and a therapeutic release. Sometimes, kids can be little monsters, and you need to let off some steam.
“I finally got him into his pajamas after the bath, and then he had an epic blowout!”
“She won’t sleep! I rock and sing and sway, but she just stares at me wide-eyed. I think she’s plotting against me. Just wait until she’s a teenager, and I wake her up at 2 a.m.!”
When they’re tiny, they’re blissfully unaware of your frustrations, blissfully ignorant of the fact that you’re complaining about their latest mess. But as they grow, they begin to absorb everything around them—their name, your name, and even the context of your conversations. Before you know it, they can pick up on your tone and the words you use, and your casual complaints can shape their self-image.
So, let’s set one rule straight: keep your grievances about your kids away from their delicate ears.
There’s a time and place for discussing your child’s behavior. If they threw sand at another child at the park or let out a colorful curse at preschool, those are moments for calm, loving conversations aimed at teaching them proper behavior. That’s what parenting is really about.
But if your little one has decided to skip naptime, paint the walls with your nail polish, and throw their entire toy collection at the TV, don’t label them as a brat. Avoid talking about their misbehavior in a way that can hurt their feelings or self-esteem. I get that you want to vent about the chaos they caused, but save it for when they’re asleep or when you’re chatting with a friend while they’re at home with a babysitter. Call your sister, your best friend, or even your therapist—whoever can lend an ear and help you process your feelings.
Here’s the truth: venting about parenting is perfectly normal and necessary. We need to share our frustrations to stay sane. Just remember, the key is knowing when and where to express those feelings. Whether you’re out with girlfriends, texting your partner, or after the kids are tucked in bed, those are great times to voice your fears about raising a “mini-monster.” Scream, cry, or laugh it out—just don’t do it in front of the little one.
It may seem harmless to mention little Lucy’s struggles in school over dinner while she’s busy playing with her food, but trust me, she’s listening. Kids are always absorbing their environment, and what you say can impact their self-esteem. We should be mindful of how our words affect their emotional well-being. This isn’t about creating “special snowflakes”; it’s about nurturing confident, well-adjusted adults who won’t resort to insults in the comments section of parenting blogs.
In short, feel free to express your frustrations about parenting—just do it away from the kids. It’s essential to have that outlet, but timing and context matter. Check out one of our other blog posts for more insights on this topic. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey, and resources like Make a Mom and Women’s Health are great for additional support.