Dear Partner,
I adore you wholeheartedly. But let’s get real for a moment—I’m exhausted. No, not just tired; I’m so drained that I can barely string together coherent thoughts. I’m pooped, frazzled, and completely spent.
When you look at me, I often feel like an alien who’s just escaped a spaceship. Welcome to the life of a working mom, a unique club that comes with its own set of challenges. I grapple with the nagging guilt of not being home with our kids like the “perfect” moms do.
I recognize that stay-at-home moms put in tough work—serious, demanding work. But honestly, I’m not cut out for that lifestyle. My job feels like a mini-vacation, even though I also face challenges there. I want our kids to see the value of hard work, and I genuinely enjoy my career. But that guilt? It lingers like an unwelcome guest.
I don’t think you’re a bad husband or father. Quite the contrary—you’re a gem among men. My knight in shining armor! But rather than trying to “fix” my fatigue, you could lighten my load in practical ways.
When you see me coming in with a mountain of work documents, kids’ backpacks, art projects, and groceries, please lend a hand. And for the sake of all that is holy, could you keep track of your own keys and wallet? It would really help reduce my stress.
Loneliness and Community
Another thing—let’s talk about loneliness. Many of my friends are in the same boat, juggling careers that leave little room for socializing. Gone are the days of leisurely pedicure dates and happy hours. When we do manage to get together for a glass of wine in our PJs, it feels like a much-needed escape.
I crave community, and I need you to support my friendships. Encourage me to step out and remember what it’s like to have a little freedom. But for that to happen, I need you to step up at home. Sure, I know you’d appreciate a to-do list while I’m gone, but I’m too wiped out to craft one. I’ll do my best, but I’m asking for your understanding.
Daily Responsibilities
Could you handle dinner? Bath time? Homework checks? Don’t forget to lay out clothes for the next day based on what they have going on—like no skirts on P.E. day! Get creative with projects, too, like building a paper mache Eiffel Tower (whoever invented glitter should face a reckoning). And for the love of all that is good, make sure the kids are brushed, read to, and tucked in on time. Otherwise, we both know what’s coming: a night of chaos and sleep deprivation.
Then there’s the kitchen—please take care of that too. Feed the pets, pack lunches, and handle the laundry. If the smell of mildew has already settled in, run that load on another rinse cycle and switch it out when the buzzer dings (and yes, I hate that annoying sound).
I’m working on my control issues and will try to refrain from critiquing your dinner choices when I come home from a night out. If you whipped up a culinary masterpiece of mac and cheese with leftover spaghetti, I’ll just be grateful you managed to get it on the table.
Encouragement and Support
Ultimately, I feel overwhelmed and like I’m failing. Every aspect of my life gets a mere 60% of my attention—that’s a D. Wouldn’t you feel worn out if you were skating by with such a score? I’ll strive for an A tomorrow, but could you remind me I’m doing well? Encourage me in my parenting and my job. I need you to help me recharge.
Take care of my physical needs too—not just in the romantic sense (though, if the mood strikes, that’d be nice!). A bubble bath now and then, with a candle lit and some peace for 20 minutes, would mean the world to me. It’s only fair, considering the “throne room” you’ve turned into your personal sanctuary!
I’d love to chat more, but duty calls! I’ve got noses to wipe, emails to send, math homework to tackle, and a whole lot more to do before I can finally rest.
Love,
Your Working Wife