During my 18th week of pregnancy, I strolled into my obstetrician’s office expecting just another routine check-up. Instead, I walked out with the unsettling news that I might not make it past 24 weeks due to an incompetent cervix. Cue the strict bedrest and a whole lot of emotional chaos.
As my belly rounded out, I felt like I should be overjoyed—after all, my baby was still cooking! I had survived the worst of morning sickness and was even starting to see that elusive second-trimester glow. But instead of basking in happiness, I found myself sinking deeper into despair. It felt like I was being shadowed by faceless Dementors from Harry Potter, constantly draining my spirit. Years later, I stumbled upon research and learned that this soul-stealing experience has a name: prenatal depression. Here’s what I wish I had known back then:
Prenatal Depression Exists. Seriously.
It might sound unbelievable, but I had no idea prenatal depression was an actual diagnosis. It’s surprisingly common—affecting about 1 in 10 pregnant women. Yet we rarely hear about it, and discussions around it are even rarer. After learning my pregnancy was at risk and being confined to bed, I felt emotional turmoil that I never expected. Had I known that prenatal depression was a real issue, I would’ve reached out to my doctor for guidance, antidepressants, or even some sort of Dementor repellent.
Guilt Is Inevitable.
I felt guilty for being sad. After all, there were countless women I knew who longed for pregnancy—how could I not appreciate every moment? But I didn’t. Guilt crept in from all angles, whether it was having to quit my job and contribute financially or the irrational thoughts of what kind of mother I’d be if I couldn’t keep my baby safe. Even my poor dog felt neglected because I was stuck in bed. I was grateful for my pregnancy, yet I felt trapped in a shadowy abyss.
Not Everyone Will Understand.
Your aunt Susie might not get why you’re feeling down, but she’ll be sure to offer her unsolicited advice about her sciatica. Even with good intentions, there’s always that one person who just doesn’t know when to stop. One relative kept reminding me how “lucky” I was to be lounging around all day, which only heightened my sense of isolation. Many people struggle to express themselves appropriately, and that can make things tougher.
Friendships Will Shift.
Some of the people I thought would be my pillars of support vanished. A close friend only called me once during my five months of bedrest, clearly overwhelmed by her own struggles. Conversely, unexpected allies emerged. A new neighbor checked in on me regularly and offered to bring food. Though I never accepted, her gestures warmed my heart. Friendships may wither, but others can blossom in the unlikeliest of circumstances.
Your Marriage Will Face Challenges.
Everyone knows a baby changes a marriage, but few discuss how pregnancy can do the same, especially when it’s a tough one. Bills piled up, my husband took on extra chores, and let’s just say, romance took a backseat. We went from passionate newlyweds to avoiding eye contact over an awkward dinner. In a time when we could have leaned on each other, we instead drifted apart as I spiraled deeper into despair.
Prenatal Can Turn into Postpartum.
Despite all the anxiety and medical hurdles, my baby made it to term. Yet, the moment my child was born healthy, concern for my well-being vanished, leaving me to navigate the challenges of motherhood while still battling my own darkness. I morphed from a worried mom-to-be into an overprotective parent. I was like a fighter pilot, always on high alert. As my little one grew, it took years for the weight of my depression to lift, and it was only through therapy and a solid support system that I found healing.
Now, as I snuggle with my child, I sometimes catch glimpses of that darkness lurking in the corner. But I remind myself that beyond the sorrow, there is a world filled with joy waiting to be embraced. That soul-sucking beast? It can take a hike.
If you suspect you might be experiencing prenatal depression, check out resources from the American Pregnancy Association. For further reading, consider visiting Make A Mom for their at-home insemination kit. Additionally, Drugs.com offers excellent guidance on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
Prenatal depression is a serious issue that affects many expectant mothers yet often goes unacknowledged. The challenges of pregnancy can create feelings of guilt, isolation, and anxiety, impacting relationships and mental health. It’s essential to recognize that these feelings are valid and seek support when needed. With time and the right resources, healing is possible.