Breastfeeding Isn’t Always a Walk in the Park, Friends

home insemination Kit

Sometimes life throws us curveballs, and we find ourselves grappling with expectations that just don’t match reality. Perhaps we place too much pressure on ourselves, or maybe we get swept up in idealized visions of the future—think Prince Charming, white picket fences, and glass slippers. But let’s face it, how many frogs are you willing to kiss before you find that prince, Cinderelly? And who really cares about that picket fence if it means conforming to HOA rules? As for those glass slippers, someone better bring a crowbar to pry off my rain boots!

At age 10, I began crafting a blueprint for my life, influenced by catchy song lyrics from the likes of Whitney Houston. That was also when I experienced my first crush, a boy named Jake who lived nearby. He was way out of my league, with hair that could rival any shampoo commercial, but in matters of the heart, that didn’t matter.

Excuse my numerous checklists; they help me feel in control.

• Have kids
• Teach my kids right
• Let my kids lead the way
• Marry Jake Gyllenhaal (hey, a girl can dream!)

As time went on, I realized my checklists needed serious revisions. I envisioned myself as the ideal wife, balancing a stellar career (Indian Oprah, anyone?) and a perfect family life, tossing my smiling children into the air while wearing a radiant smile and flawless hair. I was ready for Pilates and Brazilian Blowouts. My dream life included:

• Cooking nutritious meals for my family
• Hitting the gym while maintaining a killer physique
• Earning a living and keeping the romance alive
• Raising well-mannered, kind-hearted children without breaking a sweat

I underestimated how many checklists I would create, how many new items would be added, and how often I would let others dictate what should go on my lists. It turns out, many of these goals were not just ambitious; they were downright unattainable.

Let’s be real, marrying Jake Gyllenhaal was never on the cards, but as an adult, once I ticked off “married,” “successful career,” and “follow Whitney’s instructions to have kids,” my list ballooned so rapidly that there were days I just wanted to stay in bed and cry rather than tackle it all. Keeping up with my scrappy Sharpie was a challenge—not to mention calligraphy was never in my wheelhouse!

One of the toughest battles for me was breastfeeding. “Breast is best,” they say, and I wholeheartedly believed that. I had every intention of breastfeeding, but life didn’t unfold as I had imagined. Instead of sharing my struggles or the tears I shed, I’ll cut to the chase: it just didn’t happen.

I often find it hard to explain why breastfeeding didn’t work for me, and I definitely don’t have the energy to convince others of my efforts. The pressure mounts when someone asks not if I breastfed, but how long I did. I genuinely celebrate my friends who have successfully breastfed; I admire their stories of plentiful milk and the bonding moments they cherish. And yes, I was prepared for the chapped nipples, but sometimes you have to adjust your checklist and let go of “Manage chapped nipples.”

I remember scrolling through Facebook one day when a friend ranted about receiving formula samples from a company. She was furious, planning to write a scathing letter about that “poison” showing up at her door. It garnered lots of likes. I almost commented that I’d gladly take those samples off her hands, but my son was already using another formula; otherwise, I would have jumped at the chance!

Even now, guilt sometimes creeps in about my breastfeeding journey—or lack thereof. I wonder if it has affected my kids. When my daughter gets an ear infection or my son insists he’s a pink cat, I can’t help but question whether my choices are to blame. But I know better than to play that game; it only distracts from the good I’m doing as a parent. After all, who knows why my son thinks he’s a feline or if those colds came from the kid at the park?

So, my checklists have evolved:

• Be happy
• Smile
• Remember that our kids are our future, and aim not to mess them up too badly

And for now, that list works just fine for me. If you’re interested in more about navigating parenthood, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination.

In summary, while breastfeeding can be a challenging journey for many, it’s essential to let go of unrealistic expectations. Embracing flexibility and focusing on the joy of parenting is what truly matters.