I Think I Might Be Looking for a Sister Wife

home insemination Kit

I’ve come to the conclusion that having a sister wife could be the most amazing arrangement ever. Imagine having a girlfriend who shares your home, helps with cooking and cleaning, and remembers all the details from that last spat with our husband so we can keep him in check. Sign me up!

Of course, it would take a truly unique woman with specific traits to fit into our quirky family dynamic. In addition to a sense of humor, especially when it comes to fart jokes and navigating the endless “why?” questions from toddlers, here’s what you’d need to bring to the table as my sister wife:

1. You can’t be too attractive. In fact, let’s say you could even be a bit rugged. Facial hair, unusual moles—whatever it takes! My husband needs to see me as the most stunning of the bunch. You’re not here to steal my spotlight; you’re just holding the umbrella.
2. Maybe no umbrella-holding is necessary. Let’s make it clear that we need to keep that whole romantic aspect off the table.
3. You should have no desire for your own kids—trust me, my little ones are quite enough!
4. But you must adore my children as much as I do. Playing on the floor with them is a must, and you won’t mind being bossed around by toddlers while listening to their detailed Minecraft stories (even the ones that make you feel a bit queasy). They’ll still insist that I’m the favorite, though.
5. You won’t judge me for occasionally indulging in a glass of wine before 5 PM. Or in the morning. Just kidding!
6. You need to be prepared for a barrage of trick questions from kids all day long, like, “Sister Mommy, do you want the blue blanket or the green blanket?” Spoiler: you’ll never guess right.
7. A solid tolerance for sleep deprivation is essential. In fact, you might think sleep is overrated, reserved for sissies and grandmas.
8. You should appreciate irony. For instance, a kid who hasn’t had an accident in years will always wet the bed immediately after you wash their sheets.
9. Finding joy in cleaning brown goo off the walls and teaching reluctant kids to use forks is a must, along with saying things like, “You’ve lost the right to sit within touching distance of each other for life!”
10. Cooking dinner should be your forte, as dinner is a nightly expectation here. I know, right?
11. And speaking of dinner, you shouldn’t take it personally if the effort you put into cooking is met with groans from everyone.
12. You would happily read the book Holler Loudly! ten times a day for six months, using a convincing Southern drawl, of course.
13. Creativity is key! You should know plenty of fun activities that the kids can do, but the catch is they have to do them alone!
14. You should relish the experience of asking a child to clean their room, only to have them burst into tears.
15. Finally, a tolerance for strong odors is non-negotiable. In fact, you might even see catching vomit with your hands as a form of art.

If you check all these boxes, congratulations! You might just be my ideal sister wife.

For those interested in exploring options for starting a family, check out this helpful resource on pregnancy and home insemination from the CDC.

For more insights into home insemination, visit our other blog posts, including a detailed look at the process on home insemination kit, and learn more about the artificial insemination kits available that can enhance your journey.

In summary, finding a sister wife comes with a unique set of expectations and a shared sense of humor. It’s not just about household duties; it’s about creating a loving environment for kids and embracing the chaos together.