Dear World, Can We Please Stop the Relentless Questioning of My Kids About Where They Come From?

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My son, Amir, has a name that might hint at his heritage, but he doesn’t speak a word of Arabic. He was born in Australia (not that I was). He can recite the Quran and also knows every move to Silento’s “Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae).” He’s a delightful mix of cultures, and I embrace that fully. I don’t want to place my children in boxes, and I certainly don’t want society to do it either.

Far too often, well-meaning strangers approach Amir and ask, “Where are you from?” I call them “well-meaning” to keep my sanity intact, but honestly, it’s driving me up the wall.

“What’s the harm in such a simple question?” you might wonder. The issue lies in the fact that his answer is never enough.

If he says “Australia,” he gets puzzled looks because of 1) my hijab and 2) his olive skin and dark hair. If he mentions “Lebanon” (a country we’ve never set foot in—my birthplace), he’s met with the follow-up, “So when did you come to Australia?” Amir always responds, “Well, I was born here,” and just like that, we’re stuck in a loop of awkward inquiries.

Please, just stop.

A Cringeworthy Encounter

Recently, I had a particularly cringeworthy encounter. A woman I had never seen before approached me during my kids’ sports day and said:

Her: “Are you Liam’s mom?”
Me: “Yes, hi! I’m Amina, and you are?”
Her: “But you wear a hijab! And Liam is so smart and speaks English so well.” (Cue my jaw hitting the floor.)
Me: “Yeah, he’s got talent. He hasn’t caught hijabitis.”

And just like that, I walked away. Why should my son be judged based on my choice of attire? It baffles me that, even in 2023, our first impressions are so often based on appearances. Everyone has a story to tell, some more complex than others, and my kids’ narrative is unique. I don’t want Amir to have to explain:

“I’m from Australia. I was born here, just like my dad. My mom wasn’t; she moved here with her family when she was three, so it’s practically like she was born here. Want to see our citizenship papers? Oh, and thanks for the compliment on my English; being Muslim doesn’t affect my language skills.”

Meanwhile, his friend Oliver, who was born in Ireland, never gets asked about his origins. Why? Because his name and looks fit what is deemed “normal” in Australia. This double standard is troubling, and one day, Amir will notice it, and I won’t have any logical explanations for him.

Teaching Respect and Understanding

For now, I’ll keep teaching my kids about the layered nature of human experiences. I’ll emphasize that they deserve respect based on their actions alone. I’ll remind them that they belong to Earth and are part of Team Humanity.

Want to dive deeper into topics like this? Check out more on our blog! For those interested in home insemination, you can find useful resources at Make a Mom or learn about the process at WebMD.

Summary

In this piece, a parent expresses frustration over the constant questioning of their children’s origins due to their multicultural background. They highlight the double standards faced by their kids compared to their peers and advocate for understanding and respect for individual stories and identities.