Recently, I discovered that I hadn’t seen a distant cousin on my Facebook feed for a while, so I decided to check out her profile. To my surprise, I found out she had “unfriended” me. At first, I was a bit shocked. It’s not like we hang out all the time, but we do cross paths occasionally. My initial reaction was, “Did I offend her?” After some reflection, I realized that our vastly different political views were likely the reason behind her decision.
Although we’ve always been polite about our differing opinions, the political climate has made many of us more passionate—and perhaps a little less tolerant. I can understand why she wouldn’t want to see my posts venting about everything that’s been making me angry and anxious lately.
When I figured this out, I felt no anger. Everyone has the right to choose who they interact with, whether online or in real life. Social media isn’t the same as running into someone at a family gathering, the grocery store, or the school drop-off line. For many, it’s a sanctuary to connect with like-minded individuals, vent frustrations, and share life updates. It’s especially valuable for parents who sometimes need a break from the chaos of family life, even if it’s just scrolling through their phones during a toddler tantrum.
Not too long ago, I would accept friend requests from just about anyone. However, I eventually realized that social media had lost its warmth and safety, and I didn’t need to maintain connections with everyone from my kindergarten class. As the political season heated up, I craved a space where I could express my fears and frustrations without facing constant judgment. (Because honestly, who needs more negativity? Just take a look at the comment section of any post!)
I decided to do a significant cleanup of my Facebook friends. Some I just unfollowed, giving myself the option to reconnect later, but others I outright unfriended. Yes, unfriending can sometimes feel a bit like saying “screw you” to someone, but at other times, it feels more like a grown-up version of a breakup.
Unfriending someone doesn’t mean you never want to see them again. It doesn’t imply that one person is better or worse than the other. It simply means you want to create a boundary in a space where you share your daily life, opinions, and experiences. Unfriending can be a healthy way to say, “I’m okay with sharing certain spaces with you, just not this one.”
That said, if someone’s posts are overtly hateful—be it racist, sexist, or otherwise offensive—I take that as a cue to sever ties in real life too. No one should have to tolerate that kind of negativity, whether online or off.
Social media can be a source of stress for many. We’re bombarded with a constant stream of bad news and the temptation to compare ourselves to others. And let’s not forget the dread of being judged for what we share. I think we’ve all had those moments where we wanted to reach through the screen and give someone a piece of our mind.
In real life, we already face enough challenges, so why should we invite more negativity into our online spaces? If someone in your social media circle makes you feel anything less than great, why not just remove them? Unfriend or unfollow—whatever suits you best.
And if anyone finds my posts about politics or my adorable kids to be a drag, I wholeheartedly encourage them to unfriend me. Our real-life friendship doesn’t have to rely on social media connections. Sometimes, stepping back online can actually strengthen our in-person relationships.
Social media should be a positive experience—a space for connection and support. Don’t hesitate to shape it into a place that works for you, even if that means hitting the unfriend button now and then. No regrets, no hard feelings, and absolutely no guilt.
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Summary
Unfriending on social media doesn’t have to be a negative experience. It’s about creating boundaries and ensuring that your online space is a positive one. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s perfectly okay to hit that unfriend button. Social media should enhance your life, not add to your stress, so curate your connections wisely.