I’m a strong woman, raised by a strong woman, and while I would love to raise a strong daughter, my focus right now is on raising two boys. The world around them is eager to mold them into the men they will eventually become, and I’m determined to guide them in a way that encourages them to dismantle the patriarchy.
When I first met their father, he had just moved to the city from a small, conservative town. At the time, I was deep into my psychology degree, diving into courses on women’s studies and sexual diversity. By our third date, we were already discussing topics like white privilege, LGBTQ rights, and affirmative action—definitely eye-opening subjects for him. Thankfully, he was open to listening and intrigued enough by my perspective — perhaps it was the Ani DiFranco tracks playing in my car that made an impression, along with my bumper sticker declaring “Girls Kick Ass.”
Fast forward nearly 20 years, and that same guy, who once had little exposure to discussions about race or feminism, used his frequent flyer miles to send me to Washington, D.C. to march for civil rights. He even took the time to express how much he values my role in our family, affirming that I’m “fantastic.” This is the man who has stepped up to care for our boys without hesitation, proving that he’s not just a babysitter, but my equal partner in parenting.
Our family is actively chipping away at the patriarchy. The Women’s March was ignited by widespread concern over rampant misogyny, evolving into a broader movement advocating for civil liberties and climate change. Reproductive rights were a critical focus, and I was honored to march for these causes, fueled by the camaraderie of countless activists wearing pink Pussyhats and holding signs declaring messages like:
- Women’s Rights Are Equal Rights
- Feminism Is the Radical Notion That Women Are People
- My Body, My Choice, My Country, My Voice
It wasn’t just my own identity that propelled me forward; it was the future of my boys and the man beside me that energized my resolve. I feel a pressing duty to raise boys who will actively resist the patriarchy. Now, more than ever, we need men who will challenge injustice, even when their privilege might shield them from its impact.
I’m committed to raising my boys to be better men than some of the politicians who mock those who stand up for equality. I want them to be the type of men who reject “locker room talk” and recognize women as equals in every sphere of life. They need to understand that our country’s strength lies in its diversity and the opportunities it provides for all people.
I’m instilling in them an awareness of privilege and the understanding that just because something doesn’t affect them personally, it doesn’t mean it’s not a pressing issue. They are learning to use their male privilege to advocate for what’s right, not just what’s easy. I want them to be the kind of men who work from within the system to dismantle it.
Just the other day, I bumped into my oldest son’s principal, and she told me he had proudly mentioned my participation in the march. Later that night, he told me I was brave. Our children are witnessing the fight against misogyny and injustice, and they’re also seeing how we resist. They’ve observed millions marching for women’s rights, including mayors, governors, and leaders who stand up against injustice.
As we look to the future, I hope my ballot in 2020 will feature a woman’s name, though I harbor doubts. The country chose a man with dubious character over a qualified woman. Until we’re ready to truly smash the patriarchy, I’ll carry my sign daily as I raise my boys: Strong women, may we recognize them, be them, and nurture men who will march in solidarity with us.
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Summary
This article discusses the journey of raising boys to challenge the patriarchy, emphasizing the importance of instilling values of equality, awareness of privilege, and active resistance against injustice. Through personal anecdotes, it illustrates the responsibilities and hopes of a mother committed to nurturing a better future for her sons and society.