Someone Dropped $100K on a Cheeto Resembling Harambe

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In a bizarre turn of events, a Flamin’ Hot Cheeto that bears a striking resemblance to Harambe has sold for an astounding $100,000 on eBay. This moment serves as a wake-up call for those who think they understand the world of the wealthy—after all, who would spend six figures on a snack?

At the crack of dawn, around 6:20 AM, a lucky bidder with deep pockets outbid 131 other hopefuls to snag this unique chip for the princely sum of $99,900. The item’s description read:

“I opened a bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and found this one-of-a-kind Cheeto that looks like Harambe the gorilla. This item measures about 1.5 inches long and is perfect for collectors! Note: bag not included. Pay via PayPal.”

Now, let’s unpack the issues with this ad. First off, who actually inspects their Cheetos before diving in? When you’re reaching for that bag, it’s usually a mad dash to satisfy your hunger with some crunchy goodness. And also, can we talk about the singular form? It’s Cheeto, not “Cheetos.” You don’t say “a sheeps,” right?

Next, the dimensions provided are just odd. It’s a Cheeto, folks. Unless it’s a foot long and compensating for something, who cares about size? Lastly, it’s nice they clarified the original bag isn’t included. Imagine spending a fortune on a snack only to find out the packaging is missing!

Despite these quirks, it’s easy to see why someone might fork over a small fortune for this particular snack. Other Harambe-shaped Cheetos on eBay just don’t cut it.

Options for Harambe-Shaped Cheetos

• Option One: For $5.99, you can snag a Cheeto that looks more like a confused gorilla than Harambe himself.
• Option Two: For $10.50, there’s a cheap off-brand Cheeto that’s clearly stale and only exists to make the original look good.
• Option Three: The next option resembles a giraffe with a goiter, and let’s just skip that.
• Option Four: There’s a Cheeto that the seller claims has “highly detailed facial features,” but the photos tell a different story, making it look like Harambe’s less flattering cousin.

So, while we can’t entirely blame the buyer for their extravagant purchase—if you’ve got the cash and a passion for Harambe, why not splurge on a Cheeto? That said, maybe consider donating to a good cause instead, like funding a school or supporting organizations like Planned Parenthood.

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In conclusion, the sale of the $100,000 Harambe Cheeto is a surreal reminder of the eccentricities of wealth.