I’ll never forget the moment I announced my engagement; a colleague of mine exclaimed, “Oh wow! I’m so thrilled you’ve found your soulmate!” I paused, really thinking about the term “soulmates.” My mind struggled to connect it to my soon-to-be husband. Was I making a mistake? What if the true soulmate was out there, and instead of frolicking in a field, I was tying the knot with someone I couldn’t truly see as my soulmate? Yikes.
For days, I was in a funk. My fiancé, Jake, sensed something was off and kept asking if anything was bothering me. I’d just sweep it away with a smile. Meanwhile, I dissected every little thing he did that annoyed me—like his coffee-slurping or his odd chuckle—and my doubts grew. What if Jake wasn’t my soulmate? Double yikes.
Determining Your Soulmate
So, how do you determine if your partner is your soulmate? Is it about agreeing on everything? Never having a disagreement? Is it a constant stream of bliss? Do you hear a symphony when you lock eyes? If you’ve experienced even a hint of this, congratulations; you’re one of the few. Most people, like me, haven’t.
Despite those nagging doubts, I still took the leap and married Jake. Four years in, do I consider him my soulmate? Not really. And that’s perfectly fine. We get along and have a connection, though it’s rarely romantic. No, most of our conversations revolve around grocery lists and meal planning. If you’re married, you know what I mean. This isn’t because the spark is gone; it’s just practical.
The Reality of Married Life
If you think married life is all about fireworks, well, most of those “fireworks” are likely happening in the kitchen—sorry to burst that bubble! I’m not saying there’s no chemistry; we’re a solid team. But being married brings a new level of practicality, and that’s just how it goes.
Does love come with a user manual? Nope. Does it mean you have to be on your best behavior all the time? Not at all. The soulmate concept is far too idealistic for reality—it’s utopia. You won’t always make your partner happy, and you definitely won’t always say the right things. You mess up, you annoy each other, and you simply choose to live with it. No two people are a “perfect fit.” Your partner might be happier with someone else, but they choose you—not because you’re soulmates, but because you’re you.
Why I Choose to Stay
So why am I still with Jake if I don’t see him as my soulmate? He’s the guy who sneakily puts an apple in my bag when I skip breakfast, tiptoes around the house so I can sleep, and cooks for me when I’m feeling lazy. Those may not be the actions of “soulmates,” but they’re what a true partner does. That’s my definition of romance.
What would I do with a bouquet of roses when I need someone to help straighten up the house? How would sweet nothings help when I could use a helping hand? It’s all about the real stuff.
The Truth About Relationships
You know a relationship is thriving when you can laugh at each other’s quirks instead of glorifying them. It’s when you can comfortably be yourself—pajamas, messy hair, and all—without fear of judgment. He may not write me poetry, but his playful teasing is what I find endearing.
The truth is, you can’t spend your life chasing after a fairy tale, despite what the soulmate myth might tell you. Real love demands effort; it’s about mending cracks, living with imperfections, and cherishing the little things. Romance is often overhyped, while true comfort is underrated.
So there you have it: the idea of “soulmates” is, in my humble opinion, a bunch of nonsense!
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Summary: The concept of marrying your soulmate is overly romanticized and unrealistic. True relationships are built on practical love, mutual appreciation, and shared experiences rather than idealistic notions. Real romance is found in everyday actions and the comfort of being yourself with your partner.