When my daughter was born, I was smitten—ten tiny fingers, ten tiny toes, and a face that could melt the iciest of hearts. Like other new parents, I saw her as a flawless little angel, and I’m pretty sure every mother feels the same way about their little one. But as she grew, I started to notice that she was a bit different from other babies. Sure, she was just as adorable, cooing and giggling while mastering the art of baby antics like peeing on her dad and grabbing her toes. Yet, she struggled to sit up unsupported at 8 months and showed little interest in solid food. While most babies were gearing up to walk, she preferred her army crawl and didn’t switch to hands-and-knees crawling until after her first birthday. That’s when I reached out to early intervention services, and after some assessments, she was diagnosed with cerebral palsy.
I’ve always valued kindness and respect for others, but I must admit that I carried some unease around individuals with disabilities. I often found myself in awkward situations, unsure of how to interact. Should I pretend their disability doesn’t exist, or acknowledge it? I found myself fumbling through social encounters, feeling out of my element.
About four years before my daughter’s arrival, I took a job in a vocational rehabilitation program working with adults with developmental disabilities. Honestly, I wasn’t sure I could handle it, but I needed a job. Little did I know, this experience would not only enrich my life but also prepare me to navigate the challenges of raising a child with a disability. During that time, I dove into the history of disability rights and learned about advocacy. Most importantly, I met incredible individuals who taught me that everyone, regardless of their abilities, has something valuable to offer. I discovered that everyone deserves to be treated with dignity.
Ableism isn’t just about the discrimination faced by those with disabilities; it’s also about how society is structured around the needs of the able-bodied. Despite nearly 1 in 5 Americans living with a disability, ableism rarely gets the attention it deserves compared to racism, sexism, and ageism. These movements have gained traction, and while individuals with disabilities are also part of protected classes, their issues often get overlooked.
One reason for that invisibility is our society’s tendency to sideline people with disabilities. Can you name a popular TV show with a character who has a disability, minus it being the focal point of their story? It’s hard, right? The absence of authentic representation in media is a form of ableism. Characters like Chrissy from “Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood” are few and far between, and she’s not even real!
Ableism can also be found in blatant mockery, such as when public figures insult individuals with disabilities or through a lack of accommodations in public spaces. While laws like the Americans with Disabilities Act aim to protect against discrimination, they don’t guarantee inclusion. For instance, having a single accessible restroom stall doesn’t equate to creating inclusive spaces for everyone.
Our attitudes can reflect ableism too. Feeling pity for individuals with disabilities or assuming they want to be “fixed” is inherently ableist. Asking what caused their disability, as if you’re some sort of detective solving a mystery, is ableism in action. And let’s not forget the harmful language we still use. It’s shocking that in 2023, some people still don’t understand why the R-word is offensive. Terms like “lame” or “crazy” carry negative connotations, perpetuating ableist attitudes.
I know you might think, “Whoa, this is too much!” But it’s essential to challenge ourselves and see things from a more equitable perspective. Once you start recognizing the inequalities faced by individuals with disabilities, you’ll find it difficult to ignore them.
A key concept to embrace is “person-first language.” It’s crucial to view individuals with disabilities as people first. They are not defined by their conditions; having a disability is just one aspect of their existence.
One of the privileges of being able-bodied is that we don’t often have to confront the reality of disability. This can lead to us shushing our kids when they notice differences in others. But we should celebrate those differences! Each of us is unique, and that’s worth acknowledging.
So, when your child points out someone with a prosthetic leg or asks about my daughter’s colorful walking aid, encourage their curiosity. Answer their questions honestly and openly. If you’re uncertain, it’s okay to say so. By fostering an environment of respect and understanding, we teach our children to empathize with everyone, ultimately creating a kinder, more inclusive world.
To learn more about this topic, check out Kindbody’s blog for valuable insights and resources, or visit Make a Mom for more information on home insemination kits. If you have further questions, feel free to reach out through this link.
In summary, ableism is a pervasive issue that affects many aspects of society. By educating ourselves and fostering open conversations, we can contribute to a more equitable world for individuals with disabilities.