We’ve all heard athletes rave about their moms, saying things like, “My mom is the best. She never missed a [insert sport here: soccer game, basketball match, etc.].” Some folks find that heartwarming. Not me. My immediate reaction is: Seriously? How do they pull that off? It seems to me that these superhuman moms must be living in a parallel universe where they don’t have jobs, other kids, or any of the regular life obligations like dentist appointments or even the occasional bout of the sniffles.
The idea of “never missing a game” sounds charming in theory, but is it really the gold standard for measuring great parenting? I’ve got three kids, all juggling a slew of sports and various activities. Even with my amazing partner, we’re still outnumbered. As expected, when we welcomed our third child, chaos became our new normal.
Every weekend, our conversations revolve around logistics—how to manage the half-dozen activities we need to shuttle our kids to in just two days. Honestly, I can’t imagine a more complicated task than coordinating a spontaneous trip for the Real Housewives to some exotic location. And that’s just the weekends!
I recently transitioned to part-time work, which means I can handle most of the weekday shuttling. But even then, I still depend heavily on my husband, friends, and neighbors. It’s simply impossible to do it all solo, and unless someone invents a time machine, I won’t be able to attend every single event.
In my previous full-time job, I was fortunate to work for a company that valued work-life balance, allowing me some flexibility. I spent my pre-kid years establishing a reputation for reliability, and once I became a parent, the focus shifted from where I worked to how I got the job done. But this isn’t the case for everyone. Many people work hourly or have inflexible schedules. Can you imagine telling your boss, “Sorry, Mr. Johnson, but I need to reschedule your surgery because my daughter has a soccer game?”
Mom guilt is a common struggle, but I felt pretty good about our arrangement. Sure, it wasn’t perfect, but it worked for us. I was lucky enough not to miss much. That being said, my guilt manifested in other areas—like fretting over my kids’ diets, their screen time, and my overall lack of patience. But when it came to flexibility, I had that one in the win column!
However, I’ve come to realize I wasn’t as great as I thought. Sure, I was physically present at my kids’ events, but I wasn’t always fully engaged. With smartphones and Wi-Fi everywhere, we’re expected to be perpetually on call. I might have left the office, but the work never truly left me. I remember pacing behind the bleachers during games, juggling a conference call and only realizing I missed an incredible play by my son when I heard the crowd cheer. Yes, I was there—but was I really there?
No parent wants their child to look up and wonder if anyone is cheering just for them. Thankfully, in most of the sports our kids participate in, the parents have formed their own cheering squad. We all celebrate each child’s successes and feel the sting of their disappointments.
Sports teach invaluable lessons. Kids learn teamwork, dedication, and resilience while also experiencing the ups and downs of competition. They grow into leaders both on and off the field and learn to take both victories and losses in stride. I’m grateful for the role sports play in our kids’ lives, even if they consume most of our weekends.
As parents, we have a multitude of responsibilities. Our main job is to guide our children to become kind, responsible individuals while ensuring their safety and health. I want my kids to know we’ve always got their backs. I hope they find happiness, even if it means I’m often the “bad guy” for asking them to do something as mundane as putting on pajamas at bedtime or cutting off the Wi-Fi. But nowhere in the parent handbook does it say that attending every single sporting event is a requirement.
I once read that the best thing you can say to your child after a game—win or lose—is six simple words: “I love to watch you play.” It’s not our role to critique their performance; that’s what coaches are for. These six words capture everything, and I make it a point to say this to my kids often. It’s true: I genuinely enjoy watching them play, and I do my best to be there cheering them on, though I can’t promise I’ll make it to every game.
In the end, every parent is navigating their own path, and that’s perfectly okay. If you’re looking for more insights on parenting, check out our other blog posts, including this one about home insemination, which might just spark some inspiration for your own journey. For those interested in the specifics of home insemination, you can also visit Make a Mom, a leading authority on the topic, or check out Womens Health for excellent resources.
Summary
Navigating the demands of parenting, especially with multiple children involved in sports, can be overwhelming. It’s easy to feel guilty about not attending every event, but it’s essential to remember that being present doesn’t always mean being fully engaged. The lessons kids learn from sports and the support from fellow parents often outweigh the need for physical presence. Ultimately, love and encouragement are what truly matter.