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Stop Judging My Family for Not Saving Money — We’re Just Trying to Get By
“An elephant for a nickel is only a bargain if you actually need an elephant and have the nickel to spare.” My husband, Mike, has repeated this old adage so often in front of our kids that I can’t help but chuckle every time I hear it. The reality is, we’re financially strapped, and despite our best efforts, saving money feels like an impossible dream — that elusive emergency fund remains just out of reach.
We’re well aware that we belong to the working-poor crowd, and we pour our hearts into the little we have. Yet, some folks seem to think that being broke is a mark of laziness or poor money management, as if we could simply lift ourselves up by our bootstraps and magically save some money.
In Harper Lee’s classic novel To Kill a Mockingbird, Atticus Finch wisely said, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view… until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” So, let’s take a stroll through my world.
Needs vs. Wants
In our household, we constantly debate what constitutes a need versus a want. My definition of a necessity is quite different from what you’d find in middle-class or affluent families. For instance, internet access? That’s a want. Starbucks, fancy leggings, and the latest smartphone? All wants. If it’s not essential for survival, it simply doesn’t count as a need.
Mike and I clock close to 100 hours a week between us just to secure safe shelter, nutritious food, clothing, and reliable transportation. Those are our needs. Everything else comes last on our list. Date nights involve cuddling on the couch after the kids are asleep, while holiday gifts consist of a couple of practical items we can wrap for the kids without raising suspicion about our financial situation. Birthday celebrations turn into “vintage” backyard get-togethers because grilling hot dogs is a lot cheaper than a fancy party. I call my wardrobe a “capsule” collection, mostly because I can’t afford more than three pairs of pants.
The Reality of Our Situation
The truth? We can’t save money we don’t have. We’re constantly on the lookout for ways to cut costs. It’s helpful to remind ourselves that we don’t need an elephant, but the reality is, we don’t even have that nickel.
For years, we’ve been hustling to secure appointments just to stand in line at a charity organization, pouring over our financial struggles with strangers to apply for winter fuel assistance. There have been times when we were so tight on cash that we had to dip into our kids’ piggy banks just to buy enough food to last until payday, all while teaching them the value of saving. Oh, the irony!
Yes, we feel shame — who wouldn’t? Living in a society that clings to the myth that hard work leads to prosperity can be demoralizing. When we’re juggling multiple jobs, cutting back on every expense, and still struggling to stay afloat, it makes you question the whole notion of the American Dream. For us, it feels more like a distant fantasy.
We’re poor, and that’s our reality. But we’re also doing better than many families. We have a cozy home that feels cheerful, and while our kids may not experience the luxury of vacations or trips to Disney, we get creative. We upcycle everything from scrap wood to grocery bags into fun art projects, ensuring our kids have memorable experiences. Last year, we crafted an amazing treehouse from discarded wood we found at the local dump — it cost us nothing.
We may be broke, but we’re resourceful. We’re constantly finding solutions to our challenges, yet we still haven’t come across that mythical money tree. Just like that proverbial elephant, you need the nickel first before you can start saving it.
Further Reading
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Summary
This article highlights the struggles of a working-poor family navigating the challenges of financial hardship while facing societal stigma. It underscores the importance of understanding different perspectives on needs versus wants and emphasizes resilience and resourcefulness in the face of adversity.