Dear Me, fresh off the baby train:
First off, congratulations! Seriously, you have every right to throw shade at anyone who says otherwise. You’re also entitled to give a swift kick to anyone who comments on your postpartum body—just saying.
Because let’s be real, you look fabulous. Okay, I know you don’t feel it right now; your belly feels like a deflated balloon, and those pre-pregnancy jeans? Yeah, leave them at home next time (trust me on this one). You think that means you’re unattractive, but girl, you are glowing! That lustrous pregnancy hair is still shining, and you’ve got a beautiful little human to show off. Get in those photos; you won’t regret it. I promise, you’ll look back and think, “Damn, I was amazing.” So, smile big and don’t pull a Wednesday Addams. Just try to capture a few moments where you look genuinely happy—even if you’re not feeling it, that’s okay too.
You’ll find yourself shedding tears on New Year’s Eve, questioning your life choices. It’s a normal part of the adjustment. Just because you’re wondering how you’ll manage this tiny human who might wither away if left unattended doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby. It’s a lot to process, and feeling overwhelmed is just part of the deal. Cry it out now while you can; it’s a lot easier without a toddler barging in.
Now, let’s talk poop—oh, sweet relief! You’ve got a mountain of pain meds because you tore like a paper banner at a football game, and those meds come with some unfortunate side effects, like, um, constipation. So take the Colace now, don’t wait until you’re contemplating a hemorrhoid. Load up on fiber, greens, and yogurt, and yes, brew that coffee you’ve been missing. Make it your new best friend because, trust me, you’ll be operating on a whole new level of sleep deprivation. Newborns don’t care about day or night; you’ll find yourself staring at this little creature at 3 a.m., pleading for them to just close their eyes already! It doesn’t mean your baby is defective; they’re just doing the baby thing.
Take my advice: sleep when the baby sleeps. Let the house go to shambles; no one will judge you for laundry in piles when you’ve just pushed a human out of your body. Rest. Don’t be tempted to strap on a baby wrap and tackle those chores or go for a long hike. You’ll wonder why you bled for six weeks if you don’t take it easy!
You’re doing a lot of things right, like using that baby wrap—keep it up! It’ll allow you to maintain some semblance of your pre-baby life, so you can still enjoy oysters with friends (just remember to place a napkin on the baby’s head to avoid spills).
And hey, you’re rocking the breastfeeding gig! But stop stressing about who’s watching. If anyone has a problem with it, they can cover their eyes. If someone asks you to leave a place, just threaten to call the cops. So, set those breasts free! If you nurse in the wrap, no one will even notice.
Spend as much time as you can snuggling that baby; watch reruns of The X-Files and have someone bring you food. You’re the one the baby wants, but remember to pass them to your partner for a bit too. You deserve that uninterrupted shower or a quiet moment alone. Balance is key; it doesn’t have to be all baby all the time.
Most importantly, you’re doing an incredible job. Keeping that little human alive is no small feat, and it requires a ton of energy—both mentally and physically. Don’t forget to take care of yourself; that little one will be much happier when you do.
And that elimination communication stuff? Just stop. You don’t have the patience for it, so forget trying to get the baby to pee in the sink!
Love, Your Future Self
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Summary: This letter to a postpartum self offers heartfelt advice, humor, and encouragement for new mothers navigating the challenges of early motherhood. It emphasizes the importance of self-care, embracing the changes in one’s body, and finding balance between baby care and personal time.