When my little one was just a baby, things got complicated with his dad, and we ended up in a long-distance relationship. We had been together for four years, and I honestly thought we were on the path to marriage. After two years of trying to make it work from afar (spoiler alert: it didn’t), I realized it was time to call it quits. That was nearly a year ago.
Since then, my friends have been encouraging me to dive back into the dating pool. They genuinely believe it would be beneficial for me. But here’s the truth: I have zero interest in dating right now. It’s just not on my to-do list. It might sound cliché, but I’m genuinely using this time to focus on myself and what matters to me. After being in a relationship for so long, I found myself losing touch with my individuality. Now, I need to rediscover who I am before even contemplating adding someone new to the mix.
Honestly, I enjoy being single. Growing up as an only child, I became accustomed to my own company. I learned to be my own source of entertainment, and over the years, I’ve embraced solitude. I appreciate my independence—making my own choices, decorating my space as I see fit, and indulging in guilty pleasures like dancing to cheesy ’90s pop tunes without anyone raising an eyebrow. Plus, I can enjoy my space without having to compromise on closet space or bathroom counter clutter. I’m on a journey to rediscover myself as an adult!
Having spent most of my 20s in a relationship, I feel like a different person now that I’m approaching 31. My perspective on life has shifted, especially now that I’m a mom with added responsibilities. Casual dating? Not my forte. I’ve never been good at juggling multiple connections at once. I tend to invest deeply, and it takes me a while to move on if things don’t work out. Plus, as a mom, I simply don’t have the time or emotional bandwidth for casual encounters.
My bond with my son is incredibly special, and the last thing I want is to introduce someone who could disrupt that dynamic. I worry about how he might react if he forms an attachment only for it to fall apart. His relationship with his dad is already complicated, so he tends to latch onto male figures quickly. I can’t bear the thought of breaking his heart.
And let’s not even start on the topic of intimacy. My friends seem to think that my lack of a romantic partner means I’m missing out. But honestly? I’ve put that part of my life on hold. It may sound a bit wild, and sure, it’s not always easy, but I know that when the time is right, it will come together. I was a late bloomer in that department, and while I do miss the closeness, it’s simply not a priority for me right now. I’m not about to jump on dating apps just to satisfy my friends.
One of the silver linings of my single life has been the renewed focus on my career. It’s been a game changer for me as a single mom. With more flexible hours, I’ve poured my energy into my writing career, and it’s finally paying off. I’m now at a place where I can confidently say I’ve built a career out of something I love—a feat I might not have managed if I were still in a relationship.
I trust that love will find me when the time is right. As Diana Ross famously said, “You can’t hurry love, you just have to wait.” I appreciate my friends’ concern; they want to see me happy. But for the first time in a long while, I truly am happy. I have a wonderful child who fills my heart with joy, a burgeoning career that I’m passionate about, and a solid support system from family and friends. At this point, a romantic partner would just be the cherry on top of an already fulfilling sundae.
For more insights on home insemination, check out this resource, and for those interested in fertility kits, visit Make A Mom. If you’re curious about the science behind it, the Genetics and IVF Institute is an excellent resource.
Summary
I’m a single mom who is embracing my independence and prioritizing self-discovery over dating. After a long-term relationship ended, I’ve chosen to focus on nurturing my bond with my son and pursuing my career. While my friends encourage me to date, I’m content being single and trusting that love will come when the time is right.