Like many new moms, I found myself woefully unprepared for the whirlwind that is motherhood. Sure, you can read all the books and prep your nursery, but nothing quite prepares you for the relentless fatigue that comes with having a baby. There were days when I was so sleep-deprived that standing felt like a monumental task. Sleep was my lifeline; I would gladly skip meals if it meant I could get a few uninterrupted hours of rest.
I was also quite firm in my stance on bed-sharing: it simply wasn’t going to happen. I love my kids dearly, but I cherish the moments of peace when we can retreat to our own beds at the end of the day.
One particularly cozy night two years ago, I was nestled in my Tempur-Pedic bed, blissfully comfortable, when I felt a gentle poke. Startled, I opened my eyes to see my son standing next to me. He leaned in and whispered, “Mommy, can I sleep with you?”
Historically, my children have been fantastic sleepers. But I did put in some effort early on to help them get there—reading various books, picking up the tips that worked for us, and guiding them toward better sleep habits. I was well aware of the expert advice regarding nighttime awakenings, which generally included these golden rules:
- Never allow your child to climb into your bed at night. If you do, you might as well surrender your freedom to a tiny tyrant. Your future will be filled with Cheerios and finger paint.
- Don’t acknowledge your child. Communication equals weakness in their eyes, and they’ll exploit it.
- Take your child gently by the hand and return them to their own bed. Cover them up and make a quick getaway back to your own bed.
- If they come running back, repeat the silent treatment and return them to their bed. You may need to toss them in, then sprint back to your sanctuary.
- Repeat this process until dawn. Just a heads up: you’ll be in no shape to drive for weeks.
As soon as I heard that innocent request, all these thoughts flashed through my mind. Should I really walk him back to his bed? Was I setting myself up for disaster by allowing him in? We had been sleeping so well! But then I glanced at the clock—it was 1:18 a.m.—and I said, “Yes,” pulling him into bed with us. After that, we all drifted back to sleep.
Fast forward over 700 nights, and every single night, he comes to my bedside asking, “Mommy, can I sleep with you?” It’s endearing that he continues to ask. I sometimes wonder if his Southern upbringing makes him so polite or if he’s already figured out that things can change in an instant. For now, my answer will always be a resounding “yes.”
Those moments are sweeter than I could have ever imagined. He snuggles close, and in those quiet early morning hours, I often feel his little hand grasp mine. Weekend mornings are pure bliss. Holidays? Don’t even get me started! I know this special time will eventually come to an end, and there will be a night when he no longer asks to sleep with me.
So I say to my little prince, ask me every night if you need to. Come to my bedside when you feel lonely, scared, or just want your mommy nearby. Know that my answer will always be “yes.”
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In summary, while I may have initially intended to keep strict rules regarding sleep training, the reality of motherhood taught me that flexibility and love often trump rigid guidelines. The moments I share with my children, especially those quiet nights, are treasures I wouldn’t trade for anything.