I have a deep passion for my career. While pursuing my master’s degree, I balanced full-time work, completed countless internships, and snagged my dream job right after grad school. It wasn’t a walk in the park; I was always the first to arrive and the last to leave.
“Who wants to work on New Year’s Day?”
“I do!” I was always the eager volunteer.
Despite not raking in a huge salary, seven years later, I can honestly say I love what I do. The organization I’m part of is one I’m proud of, and I truly believe we’re making a positive impact in our community. Then my son entered the picture.
When I found out I was pregnant, I was overwhelmed with emotion—tears streaming down my face, and not the joyful kind. I felt guilty because my best friend, Jenna, had been trying for years to conceive. They longed for a baby; I was just feeling panic.
In a moment of sheer vulnerability, I called a friend and sobbed like a baby myself. After composing myself, I waited a couple of days to break the news to my husband, Mark. Sharing the news made it feel real, and I wasn’t quite ready for that. Sure, we hadn’t been preventing it, but I thought it would take longer. When I finally told Mark, he burst into happy tears, which only intensified my mixed emotions.
Pregnancy was a bit of a wild ride. I’d stick a note on my office door saying “conference call,” then hide under my desk to cope with morning sickness. As I began to show, I embraced oversized sweaters and claimed it was just holiday indulgence.
Eventually, I had to tell my boss, who had been my mentor for years. As I nervously broke the news, he responded, “But you’ll be back after the baby, right?” His concern for my return was oddly comforting, and I felt needed, which was a nice surprise considering my fears of being seen merely as “the mom” from that point on.
As my pregnancy progressed, I started feeling like maybe I could manage both my career and motherhood. Fast forward, and I welcomed a beautiful baby boy into the world. I took eight weeks and two days off. When it was time to return to work, I was surprisingly excited. The walls of my home felt like they were closing in on me, with toys and pumping gear taking over my space.
Dropping my son off at daycare for the first time brought on the tears, but I was also ready to reclaim my adult life and dive back into my career. Now, at just ten months old, he’s still my priority, but I wrestle with my desires for a well-rounded life that includes:
- A happy and healthy child? Absolutely!
- A meaningful, successful career? You bet!
- A supportive husband who thinks I have it all together? Definitely!
- A clean house and completed laundry? Sign me up!
- Financial stability while spoiling my son with things he wants? Yes, please!
I strive to be the mom who makes organic baby food from scratch, sits on charity boards, and looks like I just stepped out of a lifestyle magazine. I see those moms jogging by my neighborhood every morning and wonder what inspiring things they’re doing that day.
But I will keep working. I want my son to see the value of dedication and hard work. I love what I do, and I’m proud of it. My career keeps me sharp, witty, and engaged, and I want to be the woman my husband fell for. Financial necessity plays a role, but ultimately, it’s about what’s best for our family.
I may not be perfect, but I’m committed to giving my all to this mom gig because that’s what works for us.
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Summary:
Navigating the dual roles of a working mom and a career-driven individual can be challenging. The author shares her journey, from the initial shock of pregnancy to finding joy in both motherhood and her job. Despite the mixed emotions and struggles, she emphasizes the importance of balance, dedication, and the desire to be a positive role model for her child.