A few days ago, my daughter was acting out, which is a kind way of saying she was being a total brat to everyone around her. Her manners seemed to have vanished, and she was pointing fingers at everyone else for the chaos around her. To be fair, she was bickering with her little brother over who started it (spoiler: they were both throwing punches, which is not my favorite pastime).
Initially, I switched into my most patient, yet authoritative mom mode. I suggested she take a breather in her room to cool off, so we could discuss what was bothering her without the extra angst. I even offered to join her to help her unwind. Naturally, she insisted she wasn’t upset and claimed I was the issue (ah, the joys of the tween years).
I explained that I couldn’t engage with her until she began treating those around her with respect. After she snapped at her brother and made him cry, I had to enforce some consequences by taking away her screen time for the day. That seemed to put a damper on the rest of the day, but her mood continued to spiral for the next few days. Despite my decade of parenting experience, I couldn’t shake the nagging doubt: Was I too strict? Not strict enough? Was there something deeper going on with her?
Then, during one of those challenging days, she wandered into my office while I was trying to tackle some work. I was ready to usher her out, but she simply said, “I just want to be near you.” Wow. When your moody tween says that, you drop everything. I welcomed her to lie down beside me. I even showed her the article I was working on and asked for her thoughts. After I finished, we just laid there, chatting. She mostly rambled about video games, but eventually, she opened up about school and life. Nothing earth-shattering, but it felt heartwarming to reconnect.
And guess what happened next? After about thirty minutes of dedicated attention, her behavior took a remarkable turn for the better—not just for that day, but for the entire week. The sass and mischief seemed to evaporate.
I can’t pinpoint why she needed that extra attention. It wasn’t a particularly stressful week at home, and I couldn’t figure out if there was something bothering her at school or with friends. Regardless of what triggered it, this simple act of connection proved to be the remedy we both needed.
This isn’t the first time I’ve discovered that a little one-on-one time can work wonders when my kids start misbehaving. It’s a reminder of the foundation of our relationship: “I might not know what’s troubling you, but I see you, and I’m here.” I often forget this tactic in the heat of addressing bad behavior. Sure, misbehavior needs to be handled, especially when it’s hurtful or mean. But if conventional discipline isn’t yielding results and your child seems to be stuck in a rut, taking time for quality connection might be the escape route you both need. At the very least, it smooths the rough edges.
Disciplining kids is no walk in the park. I don’t claim to have all the answers, and what works for one might not work for another. Honestly, I feel like I’m winging it most of the time. But I can confidently say that spending time reconnecting with my kids when they’re acting out often helps us both feel better. If it doesn’t resolve the issue, it certainly fosters a calmer environment to tackle it.
And let’s be real: those extra cuddles with a kid who’s growing up way too fast? Definitely an added bonus.
For more insights, check out this post on how to navigate parenting challenges. You can also explore expert advice over at Make a Mom for a deeper dive into parenting strategies, or visit Wikipedia for a solid resource on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
When your child is misbehaving, taking the time to reconnect with them through quality one-on-one interactions can often lead to improved behavior and a stronger bond. Parenting is challenging, and while there’s no one-size-fits-all solution, carving out time for connection can make a significant difference in navigating tough moments.