I see you, Mama, wandering from room to room, mentally checking off what still needs to be organized for tomorrow. You linger by the crib of your peacefully sleeping baby, marveling at his delicate eyelashes and gentle breaths, blissfully unaware that tomorrow someone else will be reading him his favorite story about a bunny and tucking him in for a nap.
You’re trying to prepare for those long 11 or maybe even 12-hour days away. You’ve invested in a crockpot, saved a ton of recipes online, and stocked your pantry as if you’re prepping for a zombie apocalypse. Now, your freezer is overflowing, barely shutting.
You toss carrots and broccoli into the steamer basket you’ve recently used for baby purées. Starting tomorrow, time might not be on your side for making purées, and those store-bought pouches will have to do, even if it feels like you’re contributing to the planet’s waste and ignoring the studies on the benefits of chewing.
You lay out the pumping gear and the black-and-cream device on the counter, wondering if your little one will take the bottle since you haven’t “trained” him recently as everyone suggested.
Picking up a framed photo of his newborn days, you can’t decide between the two, so you pack both, staring at the empty space on your nightstand.
You can’t help but feel resentful that everyone was right — those early months have slipped by in a blur. All you have are countless photos on your phone, a digital diary of the life you nurtured around the clock. To make it feel more tangible, you jot down everything you did during your maternity leave — from daily walks to storytime and playdates, to music in the park and museum visits (as if babies care about jazz and dinosaurs). Did you do enough? Should you have done more? Your kitchen fills with the smell of burnt vegetables.
Rushing back to the kitchen, you toss the charred carrots and broccoli into the trash. The daycare will be fine — you repeat to yourself. You did your homework. The memory of babies in high chairs, caregivers hovering with plastic spoons, and the scent of warm milk mixed with antiseptic from earlier visits feels so distant. What if he refuses to eat? What if he cries for you?
Doubts creep in about whether returning to work was the right choice. But life costs money. You wanted a nicer home, away from the noisy downstairs neighbor who blasts his TV at all hours and leaves his yappy dog alone all day. You longed to visit family more often across the country.
You crave the chance to wear dresses and heels, just occasionally, and enjoy a little personal time. You want your professional skills and passions to count, shuddering at the thought that only a tiny fraction of mothers find jobs after a significant break. More like 73%, but that number feels just as overwhelming.
Some friends are selling leggings and makeup online part-time, but you never had the knack for sales. You just wish there were alternatives to the typical 47-hour workweek and those exhausting two-hour commutes.
As you fumble with another batch of carrots that roll across the floor, you feel the weight of it all. You rush to your little one in his cozy pajamas, holding him tightly but not too tightly.
But tomorrow, it’s about taking it one day at a time. You’ll have mornings, evenings, and weekends to cherish.
Tomorrow, I’ll see you on that train, Mama. I promise to admire the pictures of your child on your phone if you share them with me. I won’t pry if you get a little misty-eyed at your desk; I’ll hand you a tissue and offer you lunch (since you probably won’t have time for breaks). We’re all cheering for you, Mama, from those 4:30 p.m. meetings to bleachers at school games and midday recitals. No matter where you are, you’re doing your absolute best. Remember, we’re all in this together.
For More Resources
For more resources and support, check out this post about how to navigate home insemination and pregnancy here. If you’re looking for a reliable at-home insemination kit, you can find more information here. Additionally, this resource offers excellent information on intrauterine insemination.
Summary
This heartfelt piece captures the emotional whirlwind of a mother preparing to return to work after maternity leave. It reflects on the struggles of balancing professional aspirations with motherhood, the anxiety of leaving a child in someone else’s care, and the hope of cherishing family moments amidst a busy schedule. It serves as a reminder that many mothers share similar experiences, emphasizing solidarity and support in the journey of parenthood.