Not Being a Jerk Isn’t Enough. Let’s Elevate Our Standards, People!

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Let’s face it: the current parenting mantra of “just don’t be a jerk” is a bit lackluster. Sure, avoiding jerk-like behavior is a start, but it’s simply not sufficient. In a world brimming with prejudice and hostility, merely steering clear of being a jerk doesn’t cut it.

Being a genuinely good person requires action, not just the absence of negativity. We can’t afford to be passive bystanders, content with the notion that we’re not adding to the chaos. It’s time to rise above!

As my children have grown, we’ve had more chances to discuss what it means to be kind and stand up against jerk behavior. Whether it’s an incident at school, something we see on TV, or the outrageous antics of public figures, these moments become teaching opportunities.

Like many parents, I strive to use these situations for learning. My kids, like most, can easily identify unfairness and meanness. However, it’s crucial for them to understand that being the non-jerk on the playground isn’t the end of it. They must also confront the jerks, support those being bullied, and seek help when someone is causing distress. It’s about ensuring the jerks don’t get to hurt others any further.

Recently, while watching reruns of The Wonder Years, we came across an episode where Kevin Arnold and his classmates staged a walkout in protest of the Vietnam War. My son asked, “Why would they get in trouble for that?” I explained, “They were breaking school rules, but standing up for your beliefs can come with consequences.”

It’s tough to speak out against jerk behavior, especially when it involves friends or authority figures. I’m a self-professed peacekeeper and I despise conflict. I want everyone to get along! Yet, sometimes, doing the right thing means making waves and even upsetting people. Simply not being the jerk doesn’t suffice; we have to actively stand for what’s right.

A few weeks ago, my son and I planned to enjoy dinner and a movie, but then I learned about protests at the local airport. A recent executive order had struck a personal chord with us, and we were deeply opposed to it. “We could still catch a movie,” I said, “or we could join the protest and raise our voices against this injustice.” We discussed how it’s not enough to avoid being jerks ourselves; we need to take a stand against the real jerks out there.

“I want to go protest,” he decided. And off we went.

Lately, I’m noticing many parents opting for the easy route, settling on the “just don’t be a jerk” philosophy, which frankly feels like a cop-out. Whether it’s addressing a mean kid, advocating for the voiceless, or standing against injustice, we must do more than simply abstain from being the bad guy. We need to empower our kids to be brave and take action.

Don’t misunderstand me: standing up doesn’t mean being aggressive or unkind. I’m a firm believer in peaceful resolution and think most conflicts can be settled without hostility. But sometimes making a positive impact requires us to get involved and speak out. It’s about not turning a blind eye to injustice, using our voices for good, and uplifting those in need.

Even when it feels like the world is spiraling into chaos and it’s easy to adopt a “people are terrible” mindset, I refuse to believe it. There are far more wonderful and kind individuals than jerks. However, merely being a nice person isn’t enough anymore; it never really was. We must actively engage in good deeds, stand up against the jerks, and teach our children to do the same.

Let’s shift the narrative from “don’t be a jerk” to one of compassion and action. It’s time to truly support one another.

Summary

This article discusses the inadequacy of the “just don’t be a jerk” parenting mantra in a world filled with prejudice. It emphasizes the importance of taking action against negative behavior, standing up for what’s right, and empowering children to be active participants in creating a kinder world.