By: Emily Carter
Updated: Sep. 10, 2017
Originally Published: Feb. 27, 2017
Brace yourself. A conversation that has surfaced in the “Mommy Warriors” Facebook group is enough to make anyone’s jaw drop. In this discussion, a birth photographer informed a client that she wouldn’t document her upcoming c-section, stating that it’s “not childbirth.”
This exchange appears to be the conclusion of a chat where the birth photographer decided to drop her client after learning of her surgical delivery. The client felt compelled to defend her situation, insisting, “I didn’t choose this.” She expressed her disbelief that birth photographers would discriminate based on how a baby is brought into the world. Apparently, she’s not alone in this sentiment.
The photographer’s response could easily earn her a spot in the “Most Sanctimonious Responses” Hall of Fame. Seriously, if there were a dictionary definition for “sanctimonious,” her reply would be the illustration. She declared, “A surgery isn’t birth, my dear. You aren’t giving birth; you are having surgery to remove your baby from your abdomen. That is not birth, no matter how you slice it, and I, for one, don’t want to be there to take pictures of it.”
What. In. The. World. Rather than simply admitting discomfort with surgery or the sight of blood—a strange stance for a birth photographer—she chose to shame a mother-to-be. But wait, there’s more.
She continued, “If you decide to embrace motherhood and have an actual birth, let me know, and we can schedule your session. Motherhood is tough; I would advise against starting this journey by cutting corners.” First off, NO THANKS. Second, who in their right mind thinks a c-section is “cutting corners”? It’s likely someone who has never experienced one.
Is cutting corners taking a large needle in the spine? Is it enduring surgery while awake, as medical staff shift your insides around? Is it recovering from this major operation with nothing but ibuprofen because your baby is breastfeeding? Or is it struggling to move post-surgery while tending to a newborn?
While many of us hope to avoid surgical intervention during childbirth, sometimes circumstances dictate otherwise. And that’s perfectly fine. Although certain circles of modern motherhood exert pressure to birth “naturally” (a term that makes me cringe), some of us require medical assistance—and we’re fierce for making it through.
If only we could warn future women about this photographer’s harsh words and judgment during such a sensitive time when they need love and support the most. Now, off to care for the kids I didn’t give birth to!
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In summary, a birth photographer’s refusal to document a c-section due to her belief that it isn’t “real” childbirth has sparked outrage and calls for more understanding. Women deserve support, no matter how they bring their babies into the world.