A decade ago, I made the leap from sunny California to the lush landscapes of the Pacific Northwest for college. Little did I know that I’d end up falling in love, tying the knot, and starting a family in this beautiful corner of the world. Life has a funny way of surprising us, doesn’t it? While my journey here has been rewarding, there’s a downside: raising my kids far from my parents is tough.
My in-laws live nearby, which is a blessing. My kids enjoy the company of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins who can whisk them away for sleepovers and chaotic playdates. However, it stings a bit when they refer to my mother-in-law as “Grandma” instead of “Nana,” my mom.
There’s a connection between my children and my parents. They chat on the phone—my son loves to hang up on my mom, much to her amusement—and they know that she’s the one who sends them loads of books. My dad enjoys woodworking and stargazing, activities that my daughter has recently developed an interest in. I share photos of their Nana and Pepo, and sometimes they ask about my parents, giving me a chance to tell stories. But it’s still a shadow of the bond I wish they could have.
Even though I have my in-laws and supportive friends who tell me I’m rocking this motherhood thing, it doesn’t quite fill the void left by my own parents. My mom isn’t here to witness our dance parties, help with ABCs, or comfort my kids when they’re feeling down. My dad can’t offer encouragement when I’m at my wit’s end or high-five me after putting my spirited 4-year-old in her place. Yes, they’re with me in spirit, but they’re oceans away.
Every time I chat with my parents, they assure me I’m doing great as a mom. Thanks to social media, they get a glimpse into our lives, seeing my parenting victories and occasional meltdowns. But it’s all through a screen or over the phone, never in person. I miss the sound of my mom’s laughter at my son’s antics and the sight of my dad getting lost in a show with my daughter. Those shared moments are priceless, and their absence weighs heavy on my heart.
I’m grateful for technology, as it softens the blow of being apart. Just 15 years ago, my kids’ relationship with their grandparents would be even more limited. Still, that doesn’t ease my longing for them to share real experiences together, hugs, and the reassurance that I’m doing a good job.
Perhaps one day we’ll all live closer together. Until then, I’ll keep my fingers crossed for Skype to work, and I’ll try to snag the phone from my son before he manages to hang up on Nana again.
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Summary
Raising kids far from family can be emotionally challenging, as it limits the bond children can form with their grandparents. While technology helps bridge the gap, the author longs for more tangible experiences and shared memories.