I Really Thought I’d Be an ‘Attachment Parent,’ But It Turned Out to Be Too Much

home insemination Kit

When I was preparing for my baby’s arrival, the item I coveted most on my baby shower registry was the Baby Bjorn. More than the fancy crib or the high-tech stroller, this was my top pick. I envisioned myself wearing it all day, my little one snug against my chest as I tackled household chores, grocery runs, and even workouts. I was ready to embrace motherhood and had grand plans of never letting my baby out of my sight—just like a scene from a classic children’s story.

My baby made his grand entrance at 2:32 AM, and after an exhausting night of gazing at him, I finally dozed off around 7:45. But just an hour later, panic set in when I discovered he was gone for some routine newborn tests. “Can you go get him, please?” I found myself urgently asking my husband. Five minutes felt like an eternity. All I wanted was to get home and have my little one attached to me like a barnacle.

However, after just six hours at home, I realized that the “attachment parenting” dream I had been so excited about was not meant for me. Wearing my baby all the time quickly became overwhelming. The guilt was suffocating. If I couldn’t manage it when he weighed a mere 8 pounds, how could I possibly sustain this as he grew?

I adored him fiercely, but surprisingly, I craved personal space more than I anticipated. Endless nursing sessions left me feeling anxious and physically tense. I had to listen to my body, which was clearly telling me I needed a break. I would nurse him briefly, and then, when he fell asleep, I felt the need to set him down and reclaim my space. Yes, I struggled with guilt, and yes, I envied other moms who seemed to thrive in constant closeness with their babies.

I cherished our time together—showering him with kisses, napping side by side, and snuggling on the couch while he flipped through a soft book. But I quickly learned that I couldn’t maintain this level of attachment. The day he chomped down on my nipple and twisted his head while nursing at eight months old, I felt an unexpected wave of relief—it was over.

I did carry him in the Baby Bjorn or backpack occasionally for errands, but I was ecstatic when he was old enough to sit in a shopping cart. I could look at him, share snacks, and see his joyful smile—he was thriving! I realized he didn’t need me to carry him everywhere to feel secure. Putting him down for naps and allowing him to explore on his own was perfectly fine.

In the end, I held on to those joyful moments, and that’s how my guilt slowly faded. We all must be true to ourselves to be the best mothers we can be. It’s perfectly normal for our parenting philosophies to evolve. What matters is that we care for ourselves mentally and physically—because that’s how our children truly benefit.

For more parenting insights, check out our post on intracervicalinsemination.com, and if you’re exploring options for home insemination, Make a Mom has some great resources. For those considering IVF, NHS provides valuable information.

In summary, embracing motherhood is a personal journey, and it’s okay if it doesn’t look like what you once envisioned. Trust yourself, find what works best for you, and your child will flourish.