Embracing the Chaos: What to Expect When You’re Having Twins

home insemination Kit

These days, it feels like every time I turn around, I’m running into moms of twins. Seriously, it’s like they’re multiplying before my very eyes! If you’ve never spotted a pair of twins before, just wait until you find out you’re expecting them; they’ll suddenly appear in every corner of your town. Many of the twin moms I chat with have older children who can dress themselves, help with chores, and even enjoy fetching the mail. They often say that raising twins gets more enjoyable with each passing year.

Sure, you might encounter the occasional naysayer who claims, “Oh, it just gets tougher as they grow.” I’ve never quite understood that perspective. If they truly believe that, what good does it do to share it? So if you cross paths with one of these delightful individuals, just smile and keep moving—or, if you’re feeling dramatic, burst into tears and exclaim, “I can’t handle this!” and hope someone nearby comes to your rescue.

One wise mom I met nailed it when she said, “People without twins make it sound like a huge ordeal. You just roll with it! Keep your sense of humor as much as you can and take it one day (or even one hour) at a time.” You’ll hear people say that God never gives you more than you can handle, and you might think, “That’s great, but I think He’s mistaken me for someone else!” Then, just when you think you’ve hit your limit, the baby you’ve been praying would sleep for at least six minutes actually sleeps for an hour! You’ll find yourself on your knees, grateful, and probably dozing off right there.

A sharp sense of humor is a must-have. If you don’t have one, get one—quick! Life’s little disasters may seem catastrophic at first, but laughter can help them fade away almost immediately. Sure, there will be moments when you start chuckling and then suddenly stop to declare, “Okay, but we really need to fix this!” or you might just yell, “We need to solve this right now!” However, if you can lean toward humor more often than not, it’ll make a world of difference. As Kurt Vonnegut wisely said, “Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I personally prefer to laugh since there’s less clean-up afterward.”

Take, for example, Mike, a dad of twin boys, Josh and Adam. He reminisces about a particularly chaotic night: “We were in the middle of changing the fourth diaper in an hour, plus two sets of sheets, and it was 3 a.m. My wife sighed, ‘At least it can’t get worse!’ But just then, our toddler waltzed in saying she felt sick, and in seconds, she vomited all over our freshly laundered clothes. All we could do was laugh! The alternative was too grim!”

It’s high time to adjust your expectations. I recently heard it takes about 196 hours a week to care for triplets. That’s a problem because there are only 168 hours in a week! If you divide that by three, you’re left with an estimated 65 hours per baby, leading to an estimate of around 130 hours a week for twins. That’s a staggering amount of time! Clearly, some lifestyle changes are in order.

If you’re someone who needs a pristine home all the time, consider creating a 12-step program to manage your expectations (unless you have a full-time housekeeper, which I certainly don’t). I once had a day when my partner, Sam, returned home from work to find me sweaty, unshowered, and frantically searching for my son’s pajamas. He mentioned a great sale on speakers he’d been eyeing for years, and through gritted teeth, I shot back, “Money doesn’t grow on trees, and neither do housekeepers! Look at this chaos! Now help me!” He must have sensed my desperation because he quickly grabbed the vacuum cleaner. Whether it was my appearance or my frantic tone that triggered his response, I’ll never know.

Accept that unless you can afford a personal chef, gourmet meals on a nightly basis are not in your future. There are many evenings when a bowl of cereal feels like a five-star dinner. And don’t stress about sending out holiday cards; they might not go out until March, or you may just find joy in posting your festive wishes on social media! (Let’s be honest, “Facebooking” is practically an official verb now.) As Sam often says, “There aren’t enough hours in a day or adults in this house!” If you let it, your to-do list will grow longer than a marathon; that’s okay as long as you adjust your expectations to tackle just three or four items per week rather than cramming them all into one day.

Most parents of twins are surprised at how adaptable they become. Previously organized individuals find themselves opting for a cozy movie night instead of cleaning up the kitchen. Or they might find themselves racing back home because one of the babies had a diaper blowout before they even left the driveway. This newfound flexibility can be as much of a blessing as the arrival of your little ones. You’ll start to prioritize what really matters, leaving behind the trivial details.

If you weren’t organized before, you will be soon! And if you were already organized, you’ll be stepping up your game, as celebrity chef Emeril Lagasse might say, “kicking it up a notch.”

I unexpectedly found myself hospitalized for preterm labor at 32 weeks, then rushed home only to deliver my twins, Leo and Max, at 35 weeks. They spent 16 days in the NICU, which gave us a bit of time to prepare. But honestly, the best way to get organized is to dive into the experience and figure out what works for you. You won’t have long before urgent challenges arise that need quick solutions, and you’ll find those answers just as swiftly as every other parent of multiples.

Remember, you wouldn’t have been blessed with twins if someone didn’t believe wholeheartedly that you could handle it. For more insights on the challenges you’ll face during your first year with twins, check out our blog post on how to navigate pregnancy.

In summary, having twins is a whirlwind of challenges, but with humor and flexibility, you’ll find ways to embrace the chaos. Adjust your expectations, let go of the need for perfection, and prioritize what truly matters. Most importantly, remember that you are more than capable of handling this adventure.