As I was getting ready for work one morning, my 10-year-old son, Ethan, crept into the master bathroom. It was clear something was bothering him. I paused and asked what was wrong. After a few moments of silence, he finally admitted, “I had a nightmare.” He hesitated, then continued, “I dreamed that a bad person came into our school…” His voice trailed off, and my heart sank.
I vaguely remembered a note from school about an intruder drill, and when I asked him if that was the cause of his fear, he nodded, avoiding my gaze. In a barely audible whisper, he confessed, “Mom, I’m scared to go to school.” Hearing those words shattered me. He had been exposed to a harsh reality that I had tried to keep away from him for as long as I could.
There was a time when we introduced our kids to life’s tough lessons through stories and history. We had let them read Where the Red Fern Grows and Bridge to Terabithia, discussing the tragedies of figures like Martin Luther King Jr. and John F. Kennedy. But my son’s fear of a school shooting was something I never anticipated.
Ethan was just in first grade when the Sandy Hook tragedy occurred. Although I can’t begin to fathom the pain of those affected that day, I know the aftershocks were felt even in our small town in Missouri. Dropping him off at school after that was heart-wrenching; I cried silently, wishing to shield my son from the knowledge that the world can sometimes be a terrifying place.
Recently, the local police chief spoke to the elementary school classes, addressing the Sandy Hook incident. I trust the school handled the conversation delicately, but despite all precautions to inform without inducing panic, my sensitive son was still struggling.
I wrapped him in my arms, took a deep breath, and said, “Ethan, I love you. Bringing you into this world was the happiest moment of my life. But being a parent comes with fears—fears that I never expected to have. If I could, I’d wrap you in bubble wrap every day.” I shared my own worries, emphasizing that all I want is for him to be safe and happy.
I reminded him that the majority of people in the world are good and want the same for their families. However, there are bad individuals too, and it’s the responsibility of the good to keep an eye out for the bad. This is just part of life.
Fear can be a powerful force. Some governments exploit fear to control their citizens, but we are fortunate to have the freedom to express our thoughts. Yet, with that freedom sometimes comes chaos. I encouraged him to decide whether to let fear control him or to acknowledge it and move forward.
In my job at the hospital, I prepare for every worst-case scenario, whether it’s implanting pacemakers or handling other critical procedures. Before each case, I pack a bag with tools for every Plan B, C, and D I might need. But I always enter hoping for the best. Those drills at school are like my emergency bag—something we hope never to use, but it’s crucial to know it’s there and what to do if the time comes.
“I’m so sorry we live in a world where drills like this are necessary,” I told him, hugging him tightly. As he got dressed for school, I reassured him that we lived in a wonderful community, even if those reassurances felt hollow. When he mentioned there was no real evidence to suggest he wasn’t safe, I felt a pang of guilt but kissed him goodbye anyway.
I closed the door behind him, tears streaming down my face. Then I took a deep breath, collected myself, and packed my own metaphorical parenting suitcase, praying to every deity I could think of that I’d never have to use it.
Summary
Active shooter drills, while essential for safety, can deeply affect children. This heartfelt account explores the struggle of a mother as she tries to comfort her young son after he expresses fear stemming from these drills. Through a candid conversation, she reassures him of the good in the world while acknowledging the harsh realities they face. If you’re looking for more insights on parenting and resilience in these challenging times, check out this resource on family building options or learn more about home insemination techniques.