Updated: June 17, 2021 | Originally Published: March 3, 2017
Having a sensitive stomach is one thing, but adding motherhood into the mix? That’s a whole different ball game. After my daughter was born, I began experiencing gut-wrenching diarrhea episodes that hit me like a freight train once or twice a month. The kind that makes you feel like you’re being simultaneously punched in the gut while you’re racing to the bathroom. Sorry for the graphic description, but it’s the honest truth. It left me feeling drained and dizzy, and I kept attributing it to hormones, lack of sleep, or the latest “mystery meat” I had for dinner—hoping it would sort itself out eventually.
But then, when my daughter turned two and a half, the situation escalated to a daily struggle. I found myself afraid to leave the house, dreading the inevitable dash to the bathroom while my cranky toddler stood by, probably questioning why Mommy was suddenly MIA. There’s never a good time for chronic diarrhea, but trying to hide your discomfort from a little one who just wants to play is a special kind of hell.
Despite her young age, my daughter displayed remarkable patience. There were times I had to pull over during car rides to make a beeline for the nearest restroom. Some mornings, I had to cancel plans because “Mommy’s belly wasn’t cooperating,” leaving her glued to the TV for hours while I tried to regain my composure.
The physical symptoms of IBS were tough, but parenting through it was perhaps the hardest part. For months, I felt like a prisoner in my own home, too anxious to arrange playdates or outings for fear of my gut going rogue. I felt an overwhelming guilt that my life revolved around my digestive system rather than my daughter. I worried that my anxiety would affect her, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wasn’t the mom I wanted to be.
After several consultations with doctors and specialists, I finally realized that dietary changes were crucial. I had to cut out dairy (cue the tears—goodbye, cheese) and adopt a low-FODMAP diet, which is known to help about 75% of IBS sufferers. Thankfully, these changes worked wonders; I saw a significant decrease in symptoms. However, stress also played a major role in my IBS, and even after my gut settled, the residual anxiety lingered for years.
Occasional flare-ups still happen, and I find myself worrying about my daughter feeling like she has an abnormal mom. As she grew older, I noticed she started to understand more, which was bittersweet. It broke my heart when she would say things like, “Mom, don’t eat anything weird. I don’t want to be late for school again.” I realize now that I may have been overly sensitive about it all. After some time, I accepted that I have a sensitive digestive system that requires special care and sometimes leads to flare-ups that are just plain awful.
The biggest relief? I’ve let go of the self-blame. My daughter and I emerged from the toughest times, and she’s perfectly fine. The missed playdates and tardy school mornings? No lasting harm done. If anything, it taught her that life is unpredictable, and that’s perfectly okay. Living with a mom who has a chronic condition has instilled compassion in her. She knows when to give me space and never complains about her own issues when I’m not feeling well. Although she’s not the most affectionate child, she always checks in on me and offers to lend a hand when I need it.
Now, having another child has added a new dynamic. My older daughter, who witnessed me struggle with IBS, takes on the role of helper when I’m dealing with a flare-up, which is a beautiful thing to see. It’s heartwarming to watch her care for her little sibling while I focus on taking care of myself.
If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, you can check out this informative piece on intracervical insemination. And for those seeking more resources about pregnancy and home insemination, this site is an excellent option.
In summary, parenting with IBS has its challenges, but it has also led to growth and understanding for both me and my kids. Together, we’ve navigated the ups and downs, and I’m proud of the resilience we’ve built.