Taming My Mixed Kid’s Hair: A Comedy of Errors

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My three-year-old son has a strong aversion to hair brushing. His hair is a delightful mix of curls and kinks, but that means daily detangling is a must. Though let’s be real—it’s more like weekly maintenance because who wants to battle a tiny tornado over hair care? Especially in winter when he can just pop on a hat. And honestly, he looks adorable with his messy bedhead.

He got his first haircut at 2.5 years old. Prior to that, he was mostly bald until around 18 months, and then suddenly, this mop of hair appeared from nowhere! I tried my best to embrace the long hair look because, come on, who doesn’t love a little boy with flowing locks? It wasn’t super curly in the beginning; it was mostly straight with some cute curls at the ends. But the straight bits were a tangled mess, and I eventually had enough of pulling knots from his hair while he screamed like I was auditioning for a horror film. That’s when I finally booked his first haircut.

Choosing where to take him was a huge decision for me. My friend Lisa kept pushing me to just take him to a barbershop, but I was adamant that wouldn’t suit him. He’s mixed—his dad is white, and I’m black—and while his hair is soft, it’s also a mix of straight and curly textures. I needed a stylist who was a pro with scissors and knew how to style black hair. Plus, the place had to be kid-friendly to accommodate my little wiggle worm.

I scoured the internet for kiddie salons, but found a lot of mixed reviews. I finally stumbled upon a salon in New York City’s West Village that seemed perfect. They had these adorable salon chairs shaped like cars and boats, plus DVD players at each station where kids could pick a movie. They even blew bubbles to keep the kids occupied while getting their hair done. Bubbles? My son is sold!

Naturally, he cried throughout the haircut. The stylist, bless her, was a saint and gave me tips on how to hold him while an assistant blew bubbles and a Disney show played in the background. He wailed even louder when I took a video to share with his dad. Everyone warned me that once I started cutting his hair, I’d be trapped in a cycle of constant maintenance, but I told the stylist to give it a cute shape that would still look good as it grew out. The last thing I want is weekly hair drama. No thanks!

Most of the hair maintenance happens during bath time because, let’s face it, it’s easier to detangle when his hair is wet. By the time we get to washing and conditioning, he’s already in a mood because I interrupted his playtime. Cue the screams like I’m subjecting him to medieval torture during shampooing. And then the fresh wave of tears when it’s time for conditioner and combing out the knots.

For the longest time, I used a wide-tooth comb, which took ages with a wailing toddler. Now I’ve switched to the Wet Brush, which has been a total lifesaver. He still cries through the whole process, especially when I apply his leave-in conditioner (I know, I know, more product, but the tangles are real).

I’m grateful, though, because for a kid who’s half black, his hair is surprisingly soft and manageable with regular conditioning. My hair? Coarse as a broom. I remember my mom telling me I’d scream like a banshee while she combed mine, so I guess karma is a thing.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned from this hair adventure is that hair products are my best friends. It takes time and plenty of trial and error to find the right ones. I quickly realized that standard baby shampoo was a no-go for us. Thankfully, his hair doesn’t get super greasy or dry, so I can wash it less frequently. And thank goodness for leave-in conditioner—it’s my saving grace!

I can only hope that one day, he’ll outgrow the dramatic tantrums during hair washing, but I know that day is still far off. Until then, I’ll keep battling through this hair saga, eagerly awaiting the moment when he can handle it himself.

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Summary:

Taming my mixed son’s hair has been a hilarious and exhausting journey filled with tantrums and trial-and-error. From finding the right salon to navigating detangling battles during bath time, I’ve learned that hair products are essential. While I hope he outgrows this phase, for now, I’m just surviving the hair care saga.