Living with high-functioning anxiety often means putting on a brave face. Trust me, I’m speaking from experience. Most days, I feel like I’m managing just fine. In fact, I rarely consider myself someone who “struggles” with anxiety—until, of course, I do. And when that happens, it turns into a chaotic mess, leaving me utterly drained.
Let me share a vivid illustration of this. I’m a busy working mom, married to a busy working husband, and we have a lively toddler at home. While we don’t often indulge in extravagant nights out, we had one such occasion planned recently. I was thrilled at the thought of dressing up, spending quality time with family and friends, and letting loose on the dance floor! I even splurged on a stunning new pair of blue pumps that made me feel fabulous.
Anxiety didn’t cross my mind. In hindsight, I probably should have considered it, but I was ready for a night of fun!
That was until fun turned into panic. If you asked me what triggered it, I couldn’t pinpoint a single cause. Instead, it was a series of minor annoyances that accumulated into a full-blown anxiety attack—complete with racing heart, cold sweats, and a sinking feeling that I was losing control.
I’m not belittling these moments; they’re genuinely terrifying and often leave me feeling confused and frustrated. As I reflect on that night, I realize that these experiences are nothing to be ashamed of. I didn’t do anything wrong. Many people avoid discussing their mental health struggles due to feelings of shame or fear of misunderstanding. But open conversations about anxiety can be incredibly healing for everyone involved.
Before I experienced anxiety firsthand, I was oblivious to its complexities. Once diagnosed, I dove into research. I discovered that I was among the 40 million Americans facing some form of anxiety disorder, which often disproportionately affects women. While this knowledge didn’t magically cure my anxiety, it did help me feel less isolated in my experiences.
That fateful night? It became a moment where I had to rely on the coping mechanisms I’d developed, despite the fact that my anxiety blindsided me. One minute I was dancing and laughing, the next, I was battling tears, trying to catch my breath, and wishing I could hide in a bathroom stall.
What many people don’t understand is how unpredictably anxiety can strike. One moment, I’m enjoying a lovely evening, and the next, I’m engulfed by an overwhelming wave of panic. I knew I needed to leave, but the fear of judgment from others was suffocating.
People often ask, “What does it feel like?” Honestly, it’s rough. Your brain races uncontrollably, second-guessing every decision and action, convinced everyone around you is scrutinizing your every move. You start to breathe differently—short, quick gasps that spiral into hyperventilation. You feel like you’re disappointing everyone and that your accomplishments mean nothing.
At least that’s how it feels for me. And even though I know these thoughts aren’t true, anxiety distorts reality. Without the right tools and support from loved ones, an anxiety attack can feel incredibly isolating.
Fortunately, I’ve built a solid support network of friends and family who love me unconditionally. They understand that when I say, “I have to go,” it’s not a lie; I share in their disappointment but prioritize my mental health. I’ve come to terms with removing myself from overwhelming situations, allowing for quicker healing.
Now, I’m more open about my anxiety and willing to share my experiences to help others understand they’re not alone. I’ve learned that I am not defined by my anxiety, and I can successfully juggle being a professional, a wife, and a mother while managing my mental health.
In summary, navigating parenthood with high-functioning anxiety may seem daunting, but it’s possible to thrive with the right support and self-awareness. If you’re looking for more information on handling anxiety or home insemination, check out this resource for valuable insights. Additionally, Hopkins Medicine provides excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination, while this blog post can offer further guidance.