Life & Parenting
Last Christmas, I asked for noise-canceling headphones, explaining to my partner, “It just feels like there’s so much noise around here!” I don’t think he fully grasped how serious I was, but I definitely meant it.
I’ve always been someone who wears my emotions on my sleeve. As a child, I was what you might call “sensitive.” My parents often referred to me as whiny, and I can’t really argue with that. I was the kid who cried over everything, and yes, I still do. Now, I’m navigating the world as a highly sensitive parent, and let me tell you, it can be quite the balancing act.
While I’m learning to appreciate my unique sensitivity, parenting can be an emotional and physical marathon. Luckily, I also have a generous dose of empathy that comes with this trait. My kids benefit from having a mom who understands (most of the time) and validates their feelings with warmth and compassion.
However, being a highly sensitive parent does come with its fair share of challenges. If you find yourself relating to these experiences, you might be on the same wavelength as me.
For starters, change and surprises are not my favorites. Any parent will tell you that change is the name of the game—happening at least 28 times a day! One moment, everything is fine, and the next, I’m hiding in the bathroom, self-soothing with snacks while holding back tears. The emotional ups and downs can leave me so drained that I struggle to even muster a cheerful word for my partner once the kids are in bed.
Highly sensitive parents also tend to shy away from excessive noise and chaos. But let’s face it: children are basically walking tornadoes of sound and mess. Noise-canceling headphones can be a lifesaver; they help me dull the wails of grumpy kids and the squeals of joyous ones. And let’s not forget how dimming the lights at the end of a long day feels like a mini-vacation.
Being highly sensitive is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, I feel deeply, which brings me immense joy when my youngest says things like, “Mommy, I love you 1000%!” But on the flip side, I also feel the weight of guilt when I slip up. Perfectionism can be a slippery slope for me, but I remind myself that there’s no such thing as a flawless parent. As a highly sensitive person, I’m learning to lower my expectations significantly.
It often involves battling that nagging inner voice telling me I’m not doing enough or not fully present with my kids. I desperately want to get it right, and when things don’t go as planned, I can spiral into self-doubt. It feels like everyone is scrutinizing me, and I tend to internalize casual comments from friends as harsh critiques of my parenting skills. When my partner suggests improvements, I sometimes convince myself he doesn’t love me anymore (spoiler alert: he does!).
This sensitivity can leave me feeling inadequate, no matter how well I seem to be managing things. If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “It’s okay that I hate crafting with my kids,” only to see another mom’s artistic endeavor and feel like a slacker, congratulations—you might be an HSP too. It’s exhausting!
I often find myself simplifying everything just to survive. At the end of the day, those tiny arms that adore me can also feel overwhelming. The struggle of being “touched out” is all too real for us highly sensitive folks.
But here’s the silver lining: my sensitivity means I feel everything profoundly. I express my love to my children frequently and strive to show it in ways that resonate with each of them. I pay attention, and I’m grateful for that.
I’ve discovered that to navigate the daily demands of parenting, I need to carve out moments to unwind and recharge. It’s crucial to model for my kids that taking time for oneself isn’t just okay—it’s essential for well-being.
My challenges as an HSP have equipped me to teach my kids how to breathe deeply when emotions run high, something I often do myself. It’s a blessing to truly understand when they get upset over what seems trivial. Yet, I work diligently each day to combat the feelings that come with being highly sensitive and to focus on what truly matters: my kids, my family, and cherishing the moment.
The toughest part of being highly sensitive is ensuring I have enough energy left to give by day’s end. I breathe a sigh of relief as my kids drift off to sleep—not because I don’t want to be around them, but because I pour so much love into each day. I need that time to recharge for tomorrow’s adventures.
And honestly, what more could I ask for?
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Summary
Embracing the highs and lows of being a highly sensitive parent can be challenging yet rewarding. Understanding and managing emotions is key to navigating parenting while ensuring there’s enough energy left for each day. The journey might be tough, but the love and empathy that come with being sensitive also make it beautiful.