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Parents, Stop Anticipating a Full Night’s Sleep from Your Little Ones — It’s Been a Decade Since I’ve Slept!
I haven’t genuinely slept in ten years. To clarify, I’ve been a parent for a decade, which means my sleep has been in short supply for just as long. Sure, I manage a few hours of rest here and there, but most mornings I wake up looking like a character from a horror movie.
Let’s face it: if a woman needs her beauty sleep, moms are in big trouble. At this point, I’d gladly settle for a bit of sleep that restores my sanity enough to remember to wear my shirt the right way when I stumble out to the store in a daze.
Why are we so eager for our kids to sleep through the night? I hate to rain on the parade of the exhausted new mom yearning for one full night of sleep, but let’s be real—kids can really mess up your sleep schedule.
My children are now 10, 8, and 5, and I still wake up in disbelief on those rare nights when I’m not disturbed. As a parent, a good night’s sleep is as elusive as avoiding the latest stomach bug making the rounds at your kid’s school.
Here’s the kicker: I think I’ve done this to myself by teaching my kids to call for me instead of getting out of bed when they need something. I’ve inadvertently created little nocturnal gremlins. My logic was to prevent scenarios where they’d yell, “I feel sick!” right as they’re about to hurl on me, and to maintain my bedroom as a peaceful adult sanctuary.
But don’t get me wrong; we remain optimistic. We’ve got noise machines, fans, and humidifiers in every room to muffle the sounds of our nighttime chaos. We sprinkle lavender around and wind down with bedtime stories, baths, songs, and prayers. There’s a ton of hope—along with a mountain of dashed dreams of getting a good night’s rest.
Most nights, I find myself catnapping instead of sleeping soundly, and I’m done with it. Honestly, I thought sleep would improve by now in my parenting journey. Instead, it feels like I’m a contestant on a sleep deprivation reality show, looking like the haggard character who can’t keep her eyes open at the cocktail party.
Sleep in our household often resembles a symphony of disturbances: kids waking up multiple times, thrashing around so loudly that I can hear it through the walls. I rush in, thinking something terrible has happened, only to find out it’s just a stuffy nose.
In our home, sleep deprivation comes from the usual suspects: bloody noses, bedwetting, and the classic “Mommy, I need a tissue” when a booger refuses to budge. And let’s not forget—stomach viruses always strike at night.
Nighttime means being roused because a kid can’t get “comfy” or suddenly needs another pillow. It’s the mother who finally reaches REM sleep after days, only to be summoned to adjust blankets two rooms away. Midnight hours are filled with kids talking in their sleep loudly enough for me to hear them from another part of the house and picking up stuffed animals because heaven forbid they get out of bed to help themselves.
And then there’s the 1 a.m. requests: “I heard a weird noise” or “I need a drink.” Any parent knows that bad dreams are the ultimate sleep thief, and kids have them all the time.
Just the other night, my 5-year-old woke me up simply because he “needed me.” Excuse me, little one, but you can “need me” between 8 a.m. and 8 p.m., not at 3:28 a.m. on a school night.
In our household, the nightly struggle often involves a wake-up call exactly 25 minutes before my alarm goes off, making it impossible to return to sleep, or a child who forgets their alarm is set loud enough to wake the entire neighborhood. There’s nothing quite like the jolt of heart-pounding static blasting at full volume.
So, moms, let’s stop yearning for an elusive ideal. Yes, that adorable baby will eventually sleep through the night, only to decide to cut four teeth at once or randomly wake up for a midnight snack, because let’s face it—kids love to play mind games with us.
I’m sure things improve at some point. I keep telling myself that sleep training my kids has shifted from swaddling and self-soothing to teaching them that monsters under the bed won’t eat them if they pick up their favorite stuffed animal.
And as they approach their teenage years, when I struggle to get them out of bed in the morning, I’ll probably look back on these sleepless nights fondly. But I doubt I’ll be catching up on sleep then either, with all the curfews and late-night activities.
But hey, sleep is for the weak, right? If that’s true, then I’m definitely the strongest woman alive.
For more insights and tips on parenting and sleep, check out our other posts, including this informative piece on pregnancy and home insemination and the benefits of using a fertility booster for men.
Summary:
This humorous take on parenting highlights the sleepless nights many moms experience due to their children’s sleep disturbances. Although the quest for uninterrupted sleep is ongoing, the author emphasizes the importance of accepting these challenges as part of the parenting journey.