Why I’m Grateful I Married My Total Opposite

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I thought I was marrying someone who mirrored my own personality. But let’s be real; love often turns our logic upside down. My husband, who introduced me to the delights of Nutella on our second date, may have clouded my judgment with chocolate hazelnut bliss.

Fast forward nearly 15 years of marriage, and I’m continually amazed at how different we truly are. I’ve asked him more than once, “What on earth made you choose me?” because it boggles my mind how two such polar opposites found each other. Yet the most astonishing part is how well it’s actually working. And I mean really working.

We are living proof of the saying “opposites attract.” He hails from the snowy North, thriving on skiing and winter sports, while I’m a Southern belle with a penchant for fishing and a sassy attitude. He’s calm, relaxed, and collected; I, on the other hand, am anything but. He chose a career in medicine, while I struggle to manage my own kid’s spills. He’s the quiet type, while I often find myself being the loudest voice in the room, even when I don’t mean to be.

His idea of celebrating a birthday involves quality time with our kids, while I prefer to retreat to my room with Netflix — alone. He thrives at night, while I’m up at dawn. His idea of fun is hitting the trails—mountain biking or skiing—while I’m content with frozen yogurt and a day in pajamas.

I should have clued into our differences the first time I had dinner at his parents’ house. It was serene and orderly, the complete opposite of my lively, chaotic family where sarcasm and fun are the norms. I felt like I had stepped into an entirely different universe. But here’s the kicker: I found myself craving that tranquility, and it drew me closer to him.

Maybe we both sought out the opposite of what we had because it balanced us out. Fifteen years later, and we’re still thriving, still happy.

Since becoming parents, I’ve come to appreciate just how fantastic it is to be married to someone so different from myself. His dad once told me he’d never seen my husband raise his voice. That statement was music to my ears! That’s exactly the kind of calm I want for our kids.

We learn from each other. I’ve learned to temper my volume, while he’s realized that a little firmness can work wonders. He’s a math and science whiz, while I can barely handle basic arithmetic. The best part? When fourth-grade math homework rolled around, I handed it over to him without a second thought.

Our parenting styles mesh surprisingly well; I often go with my gut, while he relies on logic. We find a middle ground that seems to work. He’s concise with his words, while I could talk for hours about why the toilet seat should stay down.

Being opposites also helps with our kids, who are each unique in their own ways. There are times when one parent handles a child better than the other, and it’s a relief to have that balance. I’m amazed at how he connects with our daughter during their chats, while I sometimes have to coax her to share her day. And with our son, who needs a lot of affection, I find it easy to provide that comfort.

When my husband is at his wit’s end, I often find myself on top of my parenting game, and when he needs to recharge with a mountain hike, I’m the first to encourage him to go. He has a knack for engaging our kids in his activities while teaching them along the way. He has talents I can only dream about, and I know he feels the same about me.

To be completely honest, there are moments when I wish we were more alike because our communication can be a wild ride. We often spend an hour trying to untangle our thoughts, but we always get there eventually, growing stronger in the process.

Marrying your opposite means navigating a lot of compromises. It looks like letting him sleep in while I go to bed early. It’s about losing patience and having someone there to pick up the pieces. Yet, it’s also a journey of growth.

It’s not always easy, and misunderstandings do happen, but my perfect match is my complete opposite. He helps me see the world from a perspective I wouldn’t have without him. Honestly, I can’t imagine being married to someone just like me; I mean, who else would actually enjoy science fair projects?

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Summary:

This piece reflects on the author’s experience of marrying someone completely different from herself. Through humor and personal anecdotes, she explores how their contrasting personalities not only complement each other but also contribute positively to their parenting. The dynamic between opposites can lead to growth and balance, making for a unique and fulfilling partnership.