The women’s restroom is a sanctuary. It’s where we answer nature’s call, dispose of our Diva Cups, swap out tampons, and manage our menstrual chaos. We retouch our makeup, apply lipstick, and play with our hair. We share juicy gossip, make secret calls, and sometimes even hang out a little longer than necessary. And, of course, we use the facilities as intended.
Behind the sacred “LADIES” door, we shed our public personas. Here, we prepare ourselves for the world outside. Here, we find comfort and camaraderie. It’s a space every woman is entitled to—and that definitely includes trans women.
So listen up, friends: you can absolutely pee next to me. I’ll even pass you toilet paper under the stall, no matter how you’re doing your business. No judgment here—you’re part of the sisterhood. In America, there are around 1.4 million trans individuals, according to UCLA’s Williams Institute—about 0.6% of the population.
As a woman, you deserve the same rights as anyone else, including the right to relieve yourself where you feel most at ease. The thought of you causing me harm? Not even a worry. My only concern is if you take too long at the hand dryer!
In fact, there’s no solid reason for me to fear you in the bathroom. Research by Media Matters found that a man has never exploited LGBT non-discrimination laws to sneak into a restroom. The Charlotte Observer highlighted just three instances in the last 17 years where a biological male victimized a woman in a women’s restroom across the entire U.S. All were heterosexual males—none were trans. Meanwhile, locations with trans-inclusive restroom policies report no issues whatsoever. All you want is to pee among those who share your gender identity, and I fully respect that.
Let’s be real, though: I’m not the one who should be anxious about safety—you are. Last year alone, 22 trans individuals were murdered, according to the Human Rights Campaign. This year, we’ve already lost six, mostly trans people of color, including one Native American. Just recently, Taylor Rivers was tragically killed in New Orleans, following the murder of another trans woman, Jamie Lee, in the same city. Taylor endured the added insult of being misgendered by a local newspaper in initial reports. It’s heartbreaking.
Since the former administration reignited the debate, the Supreme Court declined to rule on whether a transgender boy could use the boys’ restroom at his high school. This means that students like Gavin Carter, described by the New York Times as “a charming yet slightly awkward young man,” might be forced to use the girls’ facilities, despite identifying as male. We had hoped for a landmark ruling, much like the one for same-sex marriage, to make discrimination against trans individuals illegal, including their right to use bathrooms that correspond to their gender identity.
I 100% believe Gavin deserves to use the men’s restroom because that’s who he is. Who else should be in there? Kids like Fiona Lee, a spirited 10-year-old with rainbow hair, who was assigned male at birth. Fiona attended a protest recently with a sign that read, “I’m the SCARY TRANSGENDER person the media warned you about.” Her mom shared that Fiona had faced severe depression before being able to live authentically. A picture of her with that sign has already gone viral.
The women’s restroom is a special place. Transgender women deserve the same sacred space we afford cisgender women. Denying people like Gavin and Fiona the right to use the facilities aligned with their gender identity is essentially denying their gender itself. When we do that, we strip away a fundamental aspect of their identity and try to mold them into something they’re not, and that’s simply not okay.
So, trans friends, you can absolutely pee next to me. Let’s keep an eye out for the real threats outside—the data shows that’s where the danger lies.
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Summary:
This article emphasizes the importance of transgender individuals feeling safe and welcomed in women’s restrooms. Trans women, like all women, deserve access to facilities that align with their gender identity. The piece addresses the misconceptions around safety in restrooms, highlighting that the real threats often come from elsewhere. It calls for solidarity and understanding among women, advocating for the recognition of trans identities as valid and deserving of respect.