To the Expecting Mom Struggling with Pregnancy: It’s Okay to Feel How You Feel

What a peculiar world we inhabit. In a society that prides itself on honesty and openness, we often respond with harshness when someone dares to share their truth. I learned this the hard way when I confided in an anonymous online group about my struggles with pregnancy. Between severe physical symptoms and emotional turmoil, I was far from the glowing image of a joyful expectant mother. Despite sharing my feelings with strangers, their negative comments only fueled my anxiety and self-doubt.

Fast forward a few months, and after some relief from my unbearable symptoms and the support of a therapist, I’ve found a sense of emotional stability. From this clearer perspective, I’ve come to realize two important truths: First, it’s wise to ignore the opinions of internet strangers. Second—and more crucially—my feelings are valid and don’t reflect anyone else’s experience.

Unpacking the Experience

Let’s unpack this a bit. There’s an outdated belief that pregnancy should shield a woman from emotional distress, as if she’s wrapped in a blissful bubble, oblivious to anything but joy. Any hint of dissatisfaction might earn her labels like “ungrateful” or “selfish.” Trust me, I’ve been there.

While my first pregnancy was a dream, my current one has felt like a relentless nightmare at times. Between managing constant nausea, severe vomiting (thanks to hyperemesis), debilitating exhaustion, and caring for a lively toddler, I’ve faced some of my toughest challenges yet. I share this not for sympathy, but to provide context—my perspective was once skewed.

The Emotional Toll

Physical challenges often lead to emotional struggles. I found myself spiraling, with anxiety attacks at the most inconvenient times—like 2 a.m. on the bathroom floor, alternating between vomiting and crying. There were moments when pregnancy felt more like a burden than a blessing. And if that sounds uncomfortable to read, imagine living it.

Here’s the crucial point: My emotions don’t reflect your experience, and yours don’t reflect mine. I recognize how fortunate I am to be pregnant. I know women who long for this chance, and I’ve felt the heartache of infertility and miscarriage. Pregnancy is indeed a privilege, but it is also an exhausting, emotional rollercoaster—each journey is uniquely challenging.

The guilt I felt for my burdens was often more overwhelming than my physical discomfort. That guilt compounded until it spiraled out of control, leading to more anxiety attacks than I care to admit. I never want another woman to feel that way. So let me say this loud and clear: It’s perfectly okay to acknowledge your fears, anxieties, and struggles.

Embracing the Complexity of Emotions

We are complex beings capable of experiencing a spectrum of emotions simultaneously—joy and dread can coexist. These feelings are valid. Experiencing them does not make you ungrateful or selfish, nor does it mean your children are any less loved or wanted.

If you find yourself not feeling #soblessed or overwhelmed by discomfort, know that it’s okay. You will eventually find moments of joy—whether it’s that first soft kick, seeing your baby on an ultrasound, or those sweet 4 a.m. hiccups. You may even come to feel deeply grateful, in your own way.

The Importance of Sharing Our Stories

As women and mothers, it’s essential to share our authentic experiences. Motherhood can feel isolating, despite being a shared journey across ages, races, and backgrounds. Let’s strive to be better listeners and more empathetic. I promise to support my fellow mothers without judgment and to make space for your feelings.

Now, as for me, my nausea has lessened, and I’m reveling in the joys of the second trimester. I can’t wait for those flutters, tiny kicks, and the sweet moments of new life. Yes, I have worries about managing two little ones, but I’m confident that I’ll navigate this new chapter—just as we all do.

Resources for Further Reading

For more insights on home insemination, check out this article. If you’re looking for resources on artificial insemination, visit Make a Mom. And for a deeper understanding of IVF and pregnancy, News Medical is an excellent resource.

Summary

It’s completely normal to experience a range of emotions during pregnancy, including anxiety and discomfort. Don’t let societal pressures make you feel guilty for not enjoying every moment. Acknowledge your feelings, seek support, and remember that you are not alone in your journey.