I vividly recall the moment when one of my son’s friends labeled him a “crybaby.” Honestly, I wasn’t taken aback; he definitely fits the bill. And, to be fair, I can be a bit of a crybaby myself. Tears have been my go-to response for as long as I can remember. I cry when I’m angry, when I’m sad, and even when I’m laughing so hard I nearly lose control (thanks to three kids, this is a common occurrence!). So, it’s no surprise that my son feels his emotions so deeply and expresses them through tears.
But let’s be real: having a sensitive child can be challenging for any parent. (Sorry, Mom and Dad!) When our little ones cry, we often feel helpless, and it raises our own stress levels because we can’t manage their overwhelming feelings. If you’re a parent of a sensitive child, you know how tricky it can be to navigate those tear-filled moments.
My empathy for my son’s emotional expression likely stems from my own tendencies to cry. However, when someone calls him a crybaby, my instinct is to spring into action, ready to defend him against societal norms that suggest boys should be tough. I’ve made it my mission to ensure he knows that crying is completely okay, regardless of his gender. In fact, I embrace his sensitivity and uniqueness, even if it feels like tears are taking over our lives at times.
I want my son to feel secure in expressing his emotions. If tears help him cope, then who am I to stop that? After all, emotions are universal, and everyone experiences frustration, sadness, and confusion in their own way. Personally, I always feel a sense of relief after a good cry. Yet, I also believe there are more constructive ways to handle emotions, depending on the situation. Here are some strategies we employ when the tears start flowing too freely.
1. Spend Quality Time Together
First off, we often just need to spend quality time together. Many parents instinctively retreat when their child is crying, but sometimes an extra hug, story, or just focused attention is exactly what my son needs to stabilize his emotions.
2. Encourage Healthy Coping Skills
I also encourage healthy coping skills, like deep breathing and visualizing a happy place. It’s taken me years to learn how to cope and practice self-care, so I want my kids to grasp these skills early on. We often do deep breathing exercises together or imagine his happy place (which, for him, usually involves video games) to divert attention from what’s bothering him.
3. Maintain a Positive Outlook
Additionally, we try to maintain a positive outlook during stressful moments. While I don’t tell him to stop crying, I encourage bravery and resilience without directly mentioning the tears. This approach empowers him to face challenges, try new things, or work toward goals. Sometimes a little reward or a thumbs-up from across the room can go a long way in reassuring him that everything will be alright.
4. Identify the Root Cause
Sometimes, it’s crucial to identify the root cause of the crying. If I can calm him down enough to share what’s bothering him, that alone can help diffuse the situation. Talking things through often leads to problem-solving and alleviating his distress.
5. Ignore for Attention
Ignoring the crying can also be effective, especially if it’s for attention. In such cases, I remind him that if he needs to cry, he can do so in his room. Typically, after a few minutes, he returns better equipped to deal with his emotions.
6. Hug It Out
Often, we simply need to hug it out. My son thrives on physical affection, and as he grows, it’s easy to forget that he still craves that connection. Sometimes all it takes to soothe him is a hug and the reassurance of my presence.
7. Use Food as a Secret Weapon
And when all else fails, food is my secret weapon. If nothing else seems to work, I’ve learned that a hangry kid might just need a snack to feel like themselves again.
For parents like me, indulging in some quiet time with a binge-worthy Netflix series after a particularly tearful day can be a great way to unwind. Or maybe, just maybe, we need to let out a good cry ourselves.
This article was originally published on March 17, 2017.
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In summary, navigating the emotional landscape of a sensitive child can be a rollercoaster ride, but with patience, understanding, and a few coping strategies, it’s entirely manageable.