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Raising Empathetic Kids: Let’s Ditch the Colorblind Mentality
When a heartwarming story about a little boy wanting to get a haircut like his black friend went viral, I couldn’t help but smile. It reminded me of my childhood best friend, Jamie. We’ve been inseparable since we were three, and we’ve always been aware of our differences—she’s white, I’m black. Our families taught us to celebrate those differences, not shy away from them, which has strengthened our friendship for over 30 years.
As a woman of color, I find it a bit concerning that some reactions to the viral story fixated on the term “privilege.” The white mother who shared the story suggested that making their racial differences a topic of discussion is something learned, not innate. While her intent may have been innocent, her choice of words lacked the depth needed for meaningful conversation.
Many jumped on the “colorblindness” bandwagon, asserting that the little boy’s desire to emulate his friend’s hairstyle was an example of this misguided approach. Colorblindness, often praised by well-meaning individuals, actually misses the mark when it comes to fostering understanding about race.
However, let’s not forget that social media can only convey so much. We don’t know what kind of discussions these parents are having with their boys. It’s likely that both boys are aware of their differences. The key is for adults to help children navigate these differences in an age-appropriate and honest manner.
In today’s world, ignoring race doesn’t prepare kids to thrive in a diverse society. It’s crucial to teach them that differences don’t dictate superiority or inferiority; they just offer varied perspectives. This might seem obvious, but it needs to be explicitly stated, especially for our younger ones.
To promote this understanding, we must model respectful behavior toward all races. Kids are observant and take cues from adults. Saying things like “I don’t see race” doesn’t create a bridge; it builds a wall. Instead, we should engage in real, open conversations about race, gender, and social issues.
Invest in books and toys that reflect diverse characters. Incorporating stories with marginalized heroes into your child’s bedtime routine can be impactful. While it’s important to teach about historical figures, stories featuring everyday kids can resonate more deeply. Encourage friendships across racial lines, and when discussing challenges faced by marginalized communities, do so in a way that your child can grasp.
For instance, maybe Jamie’s mother explained to her that while she wanted to match my hairstyle, we still face different realities in life. When we were kids, we both sought dolls that looked like each other, and now as adults, we can openly discuss the racial challenges we encounter.
Let’s not pat ourselves on the back for being “colorblind.” It’s essential to confront and talk about the real experiences of people of color. Having genuine discussions with your children about racial and socioeconomic differences will foster empathy and understanding.
Race is not going anywhere, and its dynamics will continue to evolve. Acknowledging our individual privileges is vital in raising self-aware children who will be compassionate friends to others. It can be challenging to unlearn ingrained perspectives, but it’s our responsibility to ensure the next generation grows up to be kinder and more understanding than we were.
For more insights on parenting and inclusivity, check out our other blog posts, like this one on intrauterine insemination. If you’re exploring ways to start a family, this guide offers practical information about at-home insemination kits. And, if you want to reach out, feel free to contact us here.
Summary
Raising empathetic children is crucial in our increasingly diverse society. Instead of promoting colorblindness, we should actively engage our kids in discussions about race, teach them to appreciate differences, and model respectful behavior towards all. This will help cultivate understanding and empathy, preparing them to thrive in a multicultural world.