Why I Allow My Kids to Snuggle Up in Our Bed

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I’m tired, but I have my reasons for allowing my kids to snuggle up in our bed. As a parent of four young ones, it’s not uncommon for one (or more) of them to wander into my room in the middle of the night, clutching their well-loved blankets or stuffed animals. I often roll over to glance at the clock, feeling that familiar pang of regret about the sleep I could lose, yet I always make room for them.

I understand this is a hot topic in parenting circles, and I respect that different approaches work for different families. Sure, parenting magazines might raise their eyebrows, and sleep deprivation has probably aged me a bit. I’ve poured over sleep-training guides and consulted with doctors, dreaming of that perfectly restful night. But there’s a deeper reason I choose this path.

A Personal Struggle

When I was 16, I faced a struggle that led me to stop eating. It wasn’t a clear-cut decision; it gradually spiraled out of control. As my life became overwhelming, I felt the need to shrink myself, and my anxiety morphed from a low hum to a deafening roar, particularly at night. Sleep eluded me, and my thoughts spiraled as I grappled with feelings of hunger and fear.

During that tumultuous time, my relationship with my mom was strained, but one night, desperate for comfort, I slipped into her room and crawled into her bed. I remember feeling her hand on my back, a touch that felt like salvation. It was a brief routine we shared in silence, and though I can’t ask her now, I believe those moments mattered greatly to both of us.

Creating a Safe Space

Today, I’m not the perfect mother you see in parenting articles. I lose my cool, rely too much on quick meals like boxed mac and cheese, and often forget the mountain of papers stuffed into backpacks. But at night, I can still offer something meaningful—just as my mother did for me. I create a space for my children, resting my hand on their backs, allowing them to feel secure and not alone in their fears.

I know this phase won’t last forever. Their nighttime worries will evolve, and one day they won’t need me in this way. But for now, I’m committed to helping them find peace at night, even if it means sacrificing my own sleep.

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Conclusion

In summary, even when exhaustion sets in, the comfort I provide to my kids during the night is worth it. It’s a small yet significant way to connect and nurture, just like my mother did for me during a difficult time.