On a quiet evening six months prior to our wedding, my fiancé raised an eyebrow and asked, “If I ask nicely, will you show me your secret stash?” I squirmed in my seat, avoiding his gaze, glancing at the wall while contemplating my options. I was embarrassed about what my secret stash contained. Could I really bare it all to him, exposing my private shame?
Slowly, I stood up and walked to our bedroom, retrieving a shoebox from under the bed that held secrets I’d never shared with anyone. I returned to the dining room, lifted the lid, and dumped the contents onto the table. Hundreds of little white slips scattered across the surface, and the loud thud of my checkbook broke the silence.
I was 23 years old — an adult with a decent job — yet I had no clue how to manage my finances. My approach to “banking” involved tossing receipts and bills into a box, paying them only when the ominous letters arrived in my mailbox threatening to cut off my electricity. I would stop spending money when the ATM informed me of insufficient funds. Cooking? Parallel parking? Jumping a car battery? Forget it! I had a nursing degree and could run a cardiac code in my sleep, but balancing a checkbook? Not a clue.
It was humiliating. Thankfully, my husband, being the patient saint he is, taught me the basics of money management. We spent hours working on my checkbook until it “balanced,” a term that felt foreign to my challenged money skills. Though I felt like a failure, my desire to learn and gain independence allowed me to forgive myself. Eventually, I became adept at budgeting and now could give Martha Stewart a run for her money in the kitchen.
Here’s the kicker: I was born in the 1970s, firmly entrenched in Generation X, and I wasn’t ready to face adult challenges. My generation prides itself on being independent, self-motivated, and often more successful than our parents. We are the original latchkey kids, navigating a world where divorce rates soared and the economy was booming. Our youth was filled with flashy ’80s fashion, excess, and fantastic music.
Sure, we had a reputation for being cynical and unfocused, but overall, Gen Xers grew into resourceful adults. Yet now, we often criticize millennials, assuming we had it all figured out when we entered the workforce.
Let’s not forget that we, too, were once young and clueless, freshly graduated and utterly unprepared for adulthood. It’s high time we stop judging millennials for being lazy or unprepared when we were just as lost.
Recently, two women from Maine ignited a debate by founding The Adulting School, a place for millennials struggling with the demands of adulthood. Here, students can sign up for courses on budgeting, managing insurance claims, and even retirement planning. The classes are filled with 20-somethings eager to become independent but lacking the necessary tools.
While some may argue that millennials’ parents failed to prepare them for the real world, I wholeheartedly disagree. Just because a millennial may not know how to handle bills or debt doesn’t mean they’re incapable. I’m 42 and still trying to understand Snapchat, for crying out loud! We’re all learning every day. There’s no need to belittle an entire generation simply because they navigate life differently than we did.
Honestly, I would have thrown every penny I had at The Adulting School during my 20s to learn budgeting skills. Sure, it’s easy to mock millennials for seeking quick fixes or lacking skills in today’s job market, but becoming an adult is a daunting experience. Having resources to help young adults succeed is a positive thing.
Millennials are, in fact, smarter than we Gen Xers were — by a mile. While we hid our failures behind closed doors, millennials are open about their needs and actively seek help to thrive. I admire their ability to achieve a work-life balance that I lacked in my 20s, and I envy their access to technology that makes them more efficient. They have the courage to admit when they need assistance.
No disrespect to my fellow Gen Xers, but I’d gladly step into the shoes of a millennial any day.
Millennials are doing just fine, and they don’t require our condescension. We need to stop clinging to the “Well, in my day” mentality as we watch their generation grow and evolve. Millennials know how to raise kids in the digital age and tackle social injustices with fierce determination. Frankly, there’s a lot we Gen Xers can learn from them. And yes, I’d love it if a millennial could show me how to use Snapchat. (Not proud of that!)
In summary, let’s acknowledge that while we may have navigated our own set of challenges, millennials are charting their own path and doing a commendable job. They are not just surviving; they are thriving, and we should support them rather than criticize.