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Curious About Why I’m Not Expecting Yet?
Well, let me fill you in.
When we were kids, the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” sparked endless excitement. My teacher would always say, “The sky is the limit!” So naturally, I dreamed of being a singer to “sing for Jesus.” Unfortunately, I was not blessed with the vocal cords for that gig.
As I grew older, my aspirations morphed year by year, but what no one warned us about was the strange transition between ages 23 and 35. Instead of asking, people began to dictate what we should be doing. The two questions I dread the most? “Has he popped the question yet?” and “When are you planning to start a family?”
While I have my go-to responses for those inquiries, I can’t help but feel a surge of frustration each time they come up. Who decided that I need to be a wife or a mother? It’s none of your business!
These questions stir up a whirlwind of emotions. Some days, I yearn for them to be true, while other days, I can’t stand the thought. When my partner finally proposed, I think he was as relieved to silence those annoying questions as I was to say yes. Little did we know that getting engaged would just open up a new floodgate of inquiries about starting a family—before we even picked a wedding venue!
Why are people so invested in how we choose to map out our lives when it doesn’t affect them in the slightest? Sure, we’re married now and have a house (another favorite question of theirs), but the baby inquiries just keep coming. Even posting an awkward photo can lead to a barrage of messages asking if I’m pregnant.
Holidays are particularly tough. A simple comment about my dad’s peculiar chicken dinner led to whispers: “Is she expecting?” I had to escape to the garage to cool off before I exploded.
Here’s the Reality
We’re not pregnant. Not yet, anyway. Just four months after tying the knot, my partner and I faced significant health challenges. Trust me, I want to tell you that we are trying. I want to share that on my 27th birthday, just a month after our wedding, we decided to start trying. I want to show you our ovulation calendar taped to the bathroom door and the little basket of pregnancy tests we have waiting.
But that’s not the truth. Instead, I would have to recount how brutal the chemotherapy was for the man I love. I watched him endure months of suffering, unable to alleviate his pain. We survived on pizza and Mexican food for 30 days because it was all he could taste. I would have to admit that I cried in his arms after hearing about my friends’ pregnancies. We might not be able to have children.
So when you ask if we’re expecting yet, that’s the reality that floods my mind. To spare you the heavy story, I usually say, “It’s in God’s hands!” because, at this point, it truly is.
A Word of Advice
So, before you consider asking someone about their family plans, just don’t. If you’re really curious, wait for them to bring it up or ask someone else. You never know what battles they’re facing. It may not even be cancer—it could be infertility, illness, loss, or financial struggles. But regardless, it remains none of your business, even if you care about them.
And for my friends still enjoying their pre-marriage and child-free lives, consider this your heads-up: Once you hit 25, it feels like the world expects you to abandon your dreams, find a partner, and start a family. Don’t let that pressure get to you. Live your life fully, and everything else will fall into place when the time is right. Life is short, and I know this all too well.
Further Reading
For more insights on navigating similar journeys, check out this post on intracervical insemination. And if you’re considering home insemination options, Make a Mom offers valuable resources. Additionally, Healthline provides excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
This article explores the societal pressures surrounding pregnancy and family planning, delving into the personal struggles of the author and her partner. It highlights the emotional toll of unsolicited questions and emphasizes the importance of living one’s life on their own terms, free from external expectations.