I’ve always been the kind of person who could thrive in an academic environment. School was my happy place. From a young age, I dreamed of attending law school and confidently believed I would conquer the notoriously tough California bar exam—spoiler alert: I did! But after practicing for less than a year (that’s a tale for another time), I suddenly found myself facing the realities of parenthood with a hefty dose of humility.
You see, I had high hopes for my children’s academic journeys, naively assuming they would mirror my scholastic achievements. But parenthood has a funny way of tossing surprises your way, forcing you to navigate through a landscape filled with uncertainties and the nagging fear that you might be steering your child off course.
The truth is, childhood today looks nothing like it did back in our day. Kindergarten used to be a whimsical three-hour affair filled with playful learning—think spelling your name in macaroni! I still treasure that silver macaroni craft my parents saved. Sure, reading was introduced, but it wasn’t the main event; the goal was to master it by the end of first grade. Homework? Tests? Not a chance—kindergarten was all about joy and exploration. (I fondly remember our weekly Sesame Street sessions in class!)
Fast forward to now, and kindergarten has morphed into an academic gauntlet, essentially a condensed version of first grade. Thanks to initiatives like “No Child Left Behind,” today’s kindergartners are expected to tackle daily homework, memorize “rainbow words,” and complete large projects—often with heavy parental involvement. It’s a lot to ask of 5- and 6-year-olds just stepping into the world of “real school.”
While I appreciate the intention behind raising educational standards, the pressure on these little ones is overwhelming. There are far more effective ways to cultivate successful, innovative thinkers than cramming a full year’s curriculum into their early years, all while bombarding them with tests that detract from genuine learning experiences.
I knew my son would be among the youngest in his class. California’s age cutoff had been gradually adjusted from December 31 to September 1, largely due to the phenomenon of “redshirting,” inspired by Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers. The argument is that older children in a grade often have advantages that contribute to their academic and social success. There’s truth to that! Just think about the difference between a newborn and a 1-year-old; the growth and maturity in that year can be substantial.
A Stanford University study even found that Danish children who started kindergarten a year later performed better in school throughout their academic careers. Instead of rigid cutoff dates, a better approach would be to assess children’s growth and maturity to determine their placement. A summer-born child is often at a disadvantage compared to peers who are significantly older.
When my son was “graduating” from preschool, I had my doubts about his readiness for kindergarten. Unfortunately, his preschool didn’t offer a pre-K option, and he had outgrown the oldest class. So, we decided to give kindergarten a shot. Before the year began, I spoke with the principal about the possibility of him repeating the grade. However, her response was lukewarm at best. I eventually advocated for a class change, as his assigned classroom was filled with kids who had already mastered reading and writing.
Once we secured his new class, it became clear that my son was less mature than his peers. His behavior was commendable, but his fine motor skills and readiness for reading were lacking. At back-to-school night, we could spot his artwork from a mile away, complete with chicken scratch and oversized letters. It was apparent that he was simply a bit too young for his class.
Let me pause to say that if your child has a summer birthday and is struggling in kindergarten, don’t panic. They’re not doomed to academic failure; they’re just young. Remember when your baby was learning to crawl? They may have rocked back and forth, eager but not quite ready. That’s where my son was—enjoying kindergarten but still needing time to catch up.
By January, I felt my son was where most kids were in September. He had memorized some words and learned his letters but wasn’t quite academically ready for kindergarten. After reaching out to friends on Facebook about their experiences with holding children back, I received over 100 supportive comments. Many shared how beneficial it was for their kids, or expressed regret for not having done so themselves.
Here’s what I learned:
- Being the youngest in class can be tough.
- My son will graduate high school at just 17.
- He will be the last in his peer group to drive.
- Younger children may develop more slowly physically and in other skills.
- He’ll be more confident among older classmates.
- An extra year at home could lead to better decisions in college.
- He may be less susceptible to peer pressure and more of a leader.
- Older kids often excel in sports, academics, and careers.
One friend, who researched this topic extensively, emphasized the importance of giving younger children the “gift of time.” This philosophy was reinforced by the Stanford study. Armed with this information, I spoke to my son’s teacher about the idea of holding him back. To my relief, she was on board, recognizing that he simply needed more time to mature.
My son isn’t failing kindergarten; he’s just young. He’ll have the opportunity to thrive in his second round of kindergarten, and I believe it is the best choice for him. If you’re in a similar situation, I encourage you to explore your options and do what feels right for your child. Remember, the gift of time is a valuable one.
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Summary
The author reflects on her son’s experience in kindergarten, realizing that he may benefit from repeating the grade. She discusses the pressures of the modern educational system and the advantages of allowing children more time to mature. By sharing her journey and insights from other parents, she encourages readers to consider what is best for their children, emphasizing that an extra year can be a gift.