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What It’s Like to Be the Underfunded Friend in Your Social Circle
“Hey, everyone’s meeting downtown for brunch at 11 on Sunday, followed by some shopping. Are you in?”
This is how so many chats kick off with my friends. They arrange for sitters, clear their calendars, and gear up for a day of indulgence. My pals aren’t rolling in cash, but they can still treat themselves to a sale on shoes or splurge on the latest trendy items from those neighborhood home parties run by the MLM ladies.
Meanwhile, I find myself having to decline these tempting offers. Not because I don’t want to join—I genuinely would love to—but because I’m constantly strapped for cash.
“Oh, that sounds amazing, but I have to help my daughter with a project for school,” I say, fibbing just to save face.
The reality? I just paid my phone and electric bills and have just enough left for gas and groceries for the week. And while I’m sure my friends wouldn’t judge me if I opened up about my financial struggles, it would surely get awkward if my go-to response to every invitation that requires spending money were always, “Sorry, can’t. I’m broke.”
Money is one of those sticky subjects that can make people cringe—nobody wants to admit they have either too much or not enough. My mom always told me that three topics should be off-limits: money, religion, and politics. Dive into any of these conversations, and you’ll likely offend someone nearby.
I’ve never been one to shy away from discussing politics, especially with today’s climate, but I’ve adhered to my mom’s advice on finances. Yet, in the spirit of fostering a more inclusive world that strives for true equality, it’s important to shed light on the harsh truths many of us face.
So, let’s get real about what it means to be the financially strapped friend because I know I’m not alone, and there are plenty of parents like me tiptoeing around these issues while reluctantly passing on invitations to escape for a night out.
Missing Out on Opportunities
Being the underfunded friend means missing out on travel opportunities. I watch my online friends booking flights and hotels, gushing over summer reunions, and a piece of my heart aches knowing I can’t join in.
Being the underfunded friend means skipping out on manicures, brunches, and girls’ nights. I find myself “busy” when invitations come in for happy hour after work. With bills piling up, I have to prioritize feeding my kids over the luxury of freshly painted nails.
It also means explaining to my kids why we can’t visit places like Disney while their friends do, and they don’t quite understand. I have to promote “staycations,” like camping in our backyard, which we do every summer without fail.
The Everyday Struggles
Being underfunded means missing out on the national mom pastime of weekend shopping at Target or grabbing a Starbucks for that much-needed caffeine fix. I don’t know the thrill of intending to buy just a few toiletries and walking out with a cart full of goodies. I only indulged in “drunk and Prime” once during the holidays and had to scramble to cancel those orders the next day to avoid overdrawing my bank account.
When you’re financially strapped, every cent counts. I meticulously read unit prices, create weekly budgets, hunt for deals, cut coupons, and constantly ponder where I can trim expenses. Sticking to a meal plan is essential, or we might not make it through the week.
Being broke has turned me into a kitchen whiz. I can buy a whole chicken, roast it for dinner, use the leftover meat for sandwiches, and turn the bones into stock for soup. Resourcefulness is my middle name.
Being broke means I genuinely appreciate what I have, grateful that our basic needs are met, but I sometimes yearn for the chance to splurge on something as simple as brunch with my best friends.
The Reality of Being Broke
Life can be tough, and parenting is no walk in the park. But when you’re low on funds, the struggle feels amplified. For now, this is the reality I’m living: I’m broke, I’m not a bad friend or person, just a mom trying to prioritize my family, even if that means fibbing when I turn down your kind invitations.
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Summary
This article explores the challenges of being the financially strapped friend in social circles, detailing the emotional and practical struggles that come with declining invitations due to budget constraints. It highlights feelings of exclusion, resourcefulness in budgeting and meal planning, and the complexities of navigating friendships when money is tight.