We need to have a little heart-to-heart. You, my charming, witty, and absolutely irresistible husband, are the love of my life and the father of our amazing children. With that said, I believe we can have this conversation openly and without hurt feelings, allowing us to strengthen our bond and deepen our connection.
Let me clarify, just in case my earlier attempts at swatting you away while hissing, “I literally just fell asleep!” didn’t quite resonate. When I slip into my pajamas, snuggle into bed, and pull the blankets up, the “Sexual Zone” is officially closed for business. My body is in hibernation mode, and any attempts to wake it up will only result in a low-battery warning, indicating that I need some serious downtime before you can even think about revving me up again.
I adore sex. I truly do. But sleep? That’s my lifeline. Once I’m on the cusp of slumber, everything else fades into the background. You could present me with a dazzling offer of mind-blowing pleasure, and my response would simply be to beg you to “turn that noise off.”
Please, no nudging, no poking, and definitely no romantic playlists on your iPad. Trust me, I’ll respond with a strategically placed elbow to your ribcage. I even went so far as to get a mouth guard from the dentist, which should serve as a clear signal that I’m off-limits for the night.
Today was a whirlwind of chores that somehow turned our tidy home into a post-party disaster by lunchtime. I spent the day preparing meals for our little ones and scavenging their leftovers just to keep myself fueled. I even endured a series of errands that felt like a marathon. I know your day was probably just as lengthy and demanding, and I empathize with that.
But let me be clear: being tired doesn’t mean I’m uninterested in intimacy. It just means I need to catch up on sleep before I can even consider the thought. Unlike those superhuman PTA moms who seem to juggle everything effortlessly, I lack their magical energy boost. Without any Adderall to help me, I assure you that sex alone can’t fuel my busy lifestyle.
At any other point during the day, I’m all in! Morning showers, naptime rendezvous, or even a quick escape during those 23 minutes of TV time when the kids are distracted? Count me in! But the moment I step into the bedroom, my focus shifts to sleep mode.
This isn’t a rejection—it’s simply self-care. I need to recharge so that I can tackle tomorrow’s adventures. Just know that this isn’t forever, and you’re definitely still on my radar for tomorrow.
With love, your considerate, sleepy, and ever-adoring wife.
P.S. If you’re curious about other aspects of home insemination, check out this insightful post for more information.
In summary, while intimacy is cherished, sleep is equally vital, especially after a long day filled with parenting duties. Finding the right balance can lead to a healthier relationship, so let’s keep the lines of communication open.