The other day, I was catching up with an old friend when, not even five minutes in, she chuckled and said, “Wow, she really doesn’t stop talking, does she?” Ugh, not this again.
This isn’t the first time I’ve heard variations of this comment about my daughter. I’ve encountered questions like, “Does she ever settle down?” or “Can she just pause for a second?” and my personal favorite, “Goodness, she’s so loud.” But let’s remember, she’s only 3. Just three years old, and like many toddlers, she’s full of energy, curiosity, and yes, a whole lot of chatter.
She’s particularly talkative when I’m on the phone, vying for my attention. Sure, I’d love a moment of peace and a chance to chat uninterrupted. But I refuse to sacrifice my daughter’s vibrant spirit for silence. No way in hell do I want her to “shut up.” Not now, not ever.
Being loud and expressive is not a problem. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with her enthusiasm or her desire to share her thoughts. There’s nothing at all wrong with her being a little chatty.
Now, don’t get me wrong; I teach her about appropriate behavior. She doesn’t yell in libraries or scream during movies—she’s starting to understand boundaries. But suggesting she should stop singing or playing just because I’m busy? Absolutely not. “Shut up” isn’t just rude; it’s ignorant and belittling. It can be harmful.
If she hears that often enough, she might start to think she’s a nuisance or that her voice doesn’t matter. I know this feeling all too well. I grew up in a loving home where my parents did their best, but I quickly learned that I was “too much.” Too loud, too wild, too emotional. I was told to calm down, to relax, to be more like the “ideal” girl.
Over time, I let societal expectations silence me. I became the compliant people-pleaser who rarely voiced her opinions. But now, I realize I never needed to “shut up.” You don’t need to, and neither does my daughter. Her words matter, her feelings matter, and that wild story she just told me about a superhero riding a unicorn? Yeah, it absolutely matters.
So here’s my message to you, to my past self, and to my precious little girl: Be fearless. Be bold. Speak your mind and don’t let anyone tell you to be quiet. You’re not obnoxious or annoying—your voice is powerful and meaningful. You’re not too much; you’re exactly who you need to be.
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In summary, let’s embrace our noisy, expressive selves and encourage our children to do the same. After all, their voices are beautiful and worth hearing.