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Confession: I’m Dreading Puberty
My son, who just turned 10, has always been the thoughtful type. He’s not the wild, impulsive kid diving off playground equipment without a second thought. Instead, he takes a moment to consider the height, the distance, and potential consequences before making his leap. He’s sensitive, sweet, and often tears up at the same movie scenes I do. He’s a little philosopher, always weighing risks and checking the depth of the pool before cannonballing in. If you think I hit the jackpot with him, you’re right—although his younger sister is definitely making up for it with her boundary-pushing antics.
But here’s the kicker: he’s 10. Soon he’ll be 11, then 12, and before I know it, we’ll be facing the whirlwind known as puberty. And honestly, I’m terrified.
I’ve caught glimpses of what’s to come. Occasionally, I see the sparks of rage when he feels something is unfair or when he’s asked to clean his room. Just recently, during a climbing class, he started yelling encouragement at a friend with a fervor I hadn’t seen before. It was as if he was overtaken by something wild and uncontrollable. His teacher looked at him, wide-eyed, and said, “Whoa, that was some serious enthusiasm.” When I asked him how it felt to shout like that, he replied, “It was crazy, but kinda fun.” Ah, yes—testosterone has a way of turning the ordinary into the extreme.
What frightens me most is the thought that puberty might change him into someone I don’t recognize. I don’t want to lose the curious, chatty child who shares his thoughts with me. I dread the day when shy smiles are replaced by sullen expressions and those solid, comforting hugs turn into awkward shrugs. I can already imagine his boyish face morphing into something more manly, his appetite exploding as he devours everything in sight, and the sweet scent of childhood giving way to the unmistakable odor of adolescence. I fear the noise will fade, replaced by silence, and that open door will soon be locked tight, with parental controls on the internet keeping me in the dark.
The anger, the mood swings, the hair—it terrifies me. I can’t even think about the magazines and other dubious items I might find stashed away in his room. Those things just don’t fit with the boy I know and love.
I understand that change is part of growing up, and it’s essential for him to carve out his own identity. There will be moments I’ll cherish as he becomes more independent and discovers who he wants to be. Watching him grow taller than me will be a mix of pride and disbelief.
For now, though, I find myself hugging him a little tighter, cherishing those smooth cheeks and that boyish voice that hasn’t yet cracked. I’ll encourage his conversations, his off-key singing, and the way he looks me in the eye when he talks. I want to memorize these moments before they slip away, before all I get are grunts and requests for money. While I can still hold on, I will.
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Summary:
In this heartfelt confession, Jessica Thompson expresses her fears about her son entering puberty. As he approaches this pivotal stage, she worries about the changes he may undergo, fearing the loss of their close bond. Despite her apprehensions, she acknowledges the importance of growth and independence. This reflective piece captures the bittersweet nature of parenting as children transition into adolescence.